by PLCCLCringeChild October 15, 2018
Get the Jesus Himselfmug. a puerto rican girl who’s often quiet but secretly super cool. everyone wants to be her friend but u need to get into her bubble first. she’s a bit of a tiny person so be careful not to lose her at parties. if you do accidentally lose her, set out a bowl of rice and beans and she will show up. she’s a cutie with a magnetic vibe. keep her close.
oh damn is that “ andrea del mar de jesus romero” pls take a pic of me next to her, i want people to think i’m cool
by mamaguebomarko May 31, 2023
Get the andrea del mar de jesus romeromug. 
A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. by Jahnutz August 3, 2024
Get the Jesus Piecemug. Jesus is a dumbass he likes Rylie but won’t admit it he has orange hair and looks like ginger overall he is in love with Rylie
by I do t know November 24, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. When someone (usually from a southern state) is to poor to afford an abortion, so they take a cross and brutally beat the woman’s stomach in the name of the lord until nothing but gork comes out.
Me and sally couldn’t get our baby aborted by professionals, so we had billy do a southern Jesus tug.
by I have a PhD in words January 2, 2018
Get the Southern Jesus tugmug.