My stepgrandchild-in-law is a good person.
by Wonbig October 13, 2021
stepgrandchild-in-law.
by Simaduria July 27, 2024
Segal's law is an adage that states: A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
fidel castro segals law
by zkrcast December 25, 2023
Any statement which is uttered in rhyme MUST be considered the absolute truth.
Bylaw: The Law of Rhyme only applies when an adult talks. The Law of Rhyme does not apply when children rhyme. A child rhyme should usually be considered false.
Bylaw: The Law of Rhyme only applies when an adult talks. The Law of Rhyme does not apply when children rhyme. A child rhyme should usually be considered false.
by The One True Savior June 04, 2019
1. A list of commandments brought down from the mountain by comedian Adam Carolla governing correct procedure in the preparation and presentation of all known edibles. He didn't speak to God. No, he had a bad omelette at a Big Bear Lake Ski Resort once. Cheese just draped over the cooked omelette, not even cheddar like he ordered, but Swiss. What is he an animal? He was certainly animalistic in his rage, with nearby large-breasted patrons trying to assure him that cheddar is sometimes white like Swiss cheese. Alas, he was not calmed. But rather than complete his transformation into a feral beast, one last "Hail Mary" neuron fired in his brain that reminded him of what it was to be human. Laws. A code to prevent civilization from collapsing. His revelation to apply rules, standards, and norms to food preparation/presentation changed the fabric of our society from that day forward. Never again would anyone have to endure such inhumane conditions in their culinary experience. Hero.
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
2. Actor Jude Law's fat, balding, less successful dimwit of a brother. (Coined by Adam Carolla on September 25, 2018 on "The Adam Carolla Show")
STEWARDESS:
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
Welcome back to first class of High-Falutin Air, Mr. Carolla. When we get up in the air in about 45 minutes, I'll gladly serve you alcohol for the 3 minutes before we begin our descent. We’ll also be serving meals in that window. Since you're in seat 1A, there's a good chance you'll get some.
ADAM CAROLLA:
Oh yeah? What've you got? Don't tell me it's that pomegranate, thyme and goat-cheese pizza. I've blown hobos that sleep on my studio stoop that taste better.
S:
Oh no, Mr. Carolla, we stopped serving that when our surveys indicated customers found it to taste like...well...like you said, "the ejaculate of an AIDS-ridden Homeless man." Now we're serving lentil chili and...
A.C.:
Don't bother. I'll drink my lunch. Until Food Law is enforced in American airspace.
S:
Food Law? Wasn't he in "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus"?
A.C.:
No, that's his younger, more attractive brother. Food Law was in "The Untalented Mr. Shitley" and "I Fart Fuckabees."
S:
Oh, I see. Anyway, want me to give you your usual road head in the John when we get in the air? After I give you your drink, of course. I know you're a raging alcoholic.
JERRY SEINFELD(row behind)
Why do they call it road head, we're gonna be 35,000 feet in the air?
A.C.:
Pipe down Jerry...unless you wanna buy my Porsche 935. I'm really taking a bath on that one. Turns out no one remembers who the hell Paul Newman is.
S:
Oh you took a bath? Maybe my mouth won't taste like a bum's buttermilk for 3 days.
by griffin_t_a September 25, 2018
A law created by the streamer Otzdarva,
In the multiplayer, non-symetrical, survivle horror game Dead by Daylight, when a player chooses to use a Map Offering, a speciel item the lets them choose the map in which the match will take place, they will disconnect after thirty to ninty seconds due them being babies, and play the game purely to abuse the other team and cry when they fail to do so.
In the multiplayer, non-symetrical, survivle horror game Dead by Daylight, when a player chooses to use a Map Offering, a speciel item the lets them choose the map in which the match will take place, they will disconnect after thirty to ninty seconds due them being babies, and play the game purely to abuse the other team and cry when they fail to do so.
by Clonfish June 24, 2024
"Any item of outrage shall be forgotten by the time a more complex solution or answer has revealed itself."
Akin to the Murray Gell-mann law as suggested by Michael Crichton, this law deals with the cascading effects of outrage on social forums such as Facebook and subsequent amnesia when the outrage has subsided. Various types of mindless shaming and outrage may be considered, and the law is applicable to situation where the cause of the outrage turns out to have been false after but where the negative effect is not reversed.
Akin to the Murray Gell-mann law as suggested by Michael Crichton, this law deals with the cascading effects of outrage on social forums such as Facebook and subsequent amnesia when the outrage has subsided. Various types of mindless shaming and outrage may be considered, and the law is applicable to situation where the cause of the outrage turns out to have been false after but where the negative effect is not reversed.
A pediatrician in England fell foul of the Freeman's law after it emerged that the angry mob had falsely thought them a pedophile.
by TurboBaconator September 05, 2015