St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017

Jesus

God’s right hand man and son. He is a handsome, kind , caring , and a strong lover boy. He also has a heart of a lion and a hard working man providing for his family and friends. Always makes his friends his number 1 priority. He will also make sure that you’re okay and doing well throughout the day. Though his weaknesses are what makes him struggle, always falling in love at first sight and easily being attached to his lover. Girls never appreciate him but he soon makes them realize it’s their lost. He has the strongest dick game in the history of mankind so if you ever have one in your life, keep him.

Girl: Do you see that guy over there? He’s cute.

Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍

by Contrabando De lo Dioses November 23, 2021

jesus

the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half

jesus is the love of my life and will continue to be forever

by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

Jesus Christ Lizard

Also known as a Chinese Water Dragon, a lizard that’s well-known for its ability to run on water.

Holy sh*t! Did you see that Jesus Christ Lizard running on water?!

by GsxrBarbie May 29, 2018

Orange Jesus Christ

Orange Jesus Christ is an expletive interjection that refers to the Christian religious figure of Jesus Christ and Donald Trump combined. It is typically uttered in anger, surprise, or frustration; although often with humorous intent. It should be used when the more common expletive, Jesus Christ, is just not sufficient to explain the outrageousness of a situation. OJC is an acronym with the same meaning and use.

Have you been following American politics? Orange Jesus Christ it’s out of control.

by Blackduck21 February 5, 2024

Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.

"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"

by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024