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Crippling dick

When your dick is so ancient, that it shrivels up, and needs extra assistance to get a hard-on. Also known as ol’ man dick.
“Awh dammit, I got a crippling dick, so I can’t slam Martha tonight because I can’t get a hard-on quick enough without some viagra.”
by conservativecassie May 28, 2018
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Eat a Dick

An exclamation to an argument or discussion. When someone wishes to put an end useless conversation with authority, or with a nasty remark, "EAT A DICK" does so perfectly.

AKA: Go fuck yourself!
My girlfriend was complaining that we don't spend enough time together and I disagreed by saying "EAT A DICK!"
by Will I AM 5 April 25, 2009
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dick pulse

Similar to a cock throb, cock twitch, chubbie, or chubster, it's when a man's penis undergoes vasocongestion. It is the swelling of the penis by increased vascular blood flow and a localized increase in blood pressure. Typical causes include sexual arousal, strong emotions, allergic reactions, and dancing too fast. Dick pulses are funny but never talked about and I'm sure a few ladies have seen and appreciated a good dick pulse every now and then.
OMG did you see her legs? I think I just got a dick pulse." or "We're hitting the road to the Coachella Music Festival. I think I just got a dick pulse.
by gaypalmsprings March 1, 2011
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Shelf Dick

When a man's dick is so small and feeble that it perches on his ball-sack acting as a shelf. Consequently, his piss runs down his balls before it reaches the toilet.
I dated this one girl for three months until she pulled down my pants and saw my shelf dick.

"Excuse me nurse..I do not know how to apply this catheter there are no instructions for if you have a shelf dick."

Bob: "Hey Ricky why do you sit down when you piss and it sounds like a leaky pipe?"

Ricky: "I was born with a shelf dick. If I stand up I will just piss all over myself."
by 352 Boys April 23, 2011
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Dick Sticker

Very small piece of fabric used to cover the "junk" of a male while swimming in public.

Common in Europe and Australia.

Also know as a "Speedo."
That man's dick sticker is disturbing me...
by BarbieGrL1700 July 29, 2009
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Dick Cheny

A man who likes getting fucked by devil goats.
"Oh jesus this devil goats dick in my ass really makes me feel like Dick Cheny!"
by Ihatedick October 9, 2009
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Prisoner's Dick

Something that is so hard or uncomfortable, that it hurts.
"Man, my bed is so uncomfortable, I woke up this morning, and my neck was as stiff as a prisoner's dick"
by LacklustreShine November 7, 2007
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