Diarrhea Defense

When you don’t want to go to an event or do something and blame it on diarrhea. Nobody will ever question it. It’s the perfect excuse.

I got out of dinner tonight by using the diarrhea defense. Worked like a charm!

by Preston J. Smith April 3, 2022

Verbal Trigger Defense

The defense wherein disagreeing in it, the sayer proves a point and the disagreer only makes it harder for themself. It's sometimes justified in order for the disagreer to expose any horrible truths.

Robert: "How come the system is like this? Please answer me right now. Why do I have to pay this much student loans? Is this corrupt."

Businessman: "No, this is not corrupt in the slightest and your opinion is wrong. A Verbal Trigger Defense won't help you in the slightest. Yes, everyone knows we're corrupt now but you still have to pay jack you filthy oaf."

by Leidgima-Bawelson September 10, 2020

self defense

basicly beating your meat

bro i just commited self defense

by ekkkekekkekekeke January 3, 2021

Self Defense

When someone tries to beat you up so you beat them up to stop them from beating you up.

Person 1 used self defense when Person 2 tried to chase him and grab his weapon. Person 2 seemed to have intent of harming Person 1.

by Based Cow November 18, 2021

Self Defense

for most it’s protecting your self from harm but for laylas it is doing it with someone at karate

“he chokes me so i laughed uwu” that is apparently the definition of self defense now

by defnotsomeonewhoknowslayla August 10, 2022

Self Defense

most people is to protect yourself but some is to do it with someone at karate

“he strangled me so i laughed uwu” that is self defense right there

by defnotsomeonewhoknowslayla August 10, 2022

Trump's impeachment defense II

"The election was stolen." When he coached his lawyers to say this, they walked out on him.

Trump's first impeachment defense came down to the word "perfect", describing his actions and himself. The Republican senators, in unison, murmured 'perfect, innocent'. Probably being forced to serve as his own lawyer, Trump's impeachment defense II will consist of the word 'stolen'. Republican senators, themselves among the precise targets of his call for violence, may indeed murmur 'stolen, innocent', proving that mental illness, no less than Covid, is contagious.

by Monkey's Dad February 1, 2021