cooter haulin'

The process whereby a woman uses her vagina to transport items (usually contraband). A female-only alternative to the prison wallet.
Mary: Hey Bob, here's that pot vape pen you wanted.
Bob: Thanks! But how did you get it past customs?
Mary: I did a bit of cooter haulin'.
Bob: (as he gingerly sets the pen down) Ummm, thanks?
by weyus July 26, 2018
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Cooter gouda

"Cooter"- /noun/ Country slang for vagina. Not to be confused with the North American River Turtle. "Gouda"- /noun/ A slightly tangy ripe white creamy cheese-like body fluid from the vagina. Can occur during ovulation, pregnancy, or just a "voyeuristic" vagina.
Meg- "Jesus, this shitter smells ripe!" Gab- " Ew I know! Just some trick with her cooter gouda girl!" Frank- "What the hell are these white streaks on the seats in this uber?" Bob- " Gross! Probably just some trick and her cooter gouda dude." Karen- " Wow, I am really enjoying this hike Billy but I've got about a pound and a half of "cooter gouda" in my panties! (Best said with a midwestern or new england accent)
by LadyBlue81 April 06, 2021
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Cooter Bats

The bat that lives in the cooter of a female, often mistaken for a Vag-Cat
Bree's Cooter Bats Are so damn loud, i couldn't get any sleep last night
by Rockandrolljunkiie May 12, 2010
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cooter smacker

I invented this. It means what you think it means. Its a COOTER SMACKER
Me in Warzone: YOOO That kids a fuckin Cooter Smacker
by Bobert099 October 19, 2020
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Cooter Loaf

a vagina that is so crusty and dry that it is left in loaf form
"Damn Jess, if you needed to borrow the Crisco to moisten your cooter loaf why didn't you just ask"
by sam and junk March 28, 2009
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Cooter board

A cutting board loaded with cold cuts, cheese and crackers for your friends to snack on at a party or get together at your house, not some uptown apartment. A cooter board is the correct way to say Charcuterie board without sounding like a superdouche to your close friends and family.
I made a badass cooter board with some shit from Aldi!
by Garnacha June 15, 2021
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Cooter Slap

Slapping a female in her genitalia to inflict pain.
He cooter slapped the shit out of her! That is what she gets for the junk punch.
by ThatGuyFromIdaho July 07, 2015
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