How about stop trying to use authority you don't have to compel people (from the shadows) to do things they don't want to do?
Hym "How bout dat for a better alternative, Dr. RAPE FARM?"
Dr. Rape Farm "Well, I need to control what my children are going to think and do in the future and for me to do that I need to have control of everyone around me and LYING BLATANTLY allows me to do that with greater ease. So I need you to shut the hell up so I can distill these retards into an abstract phantom and trick them into locking themselves into a state of perpetual solipsism so they don't interfere with MY LIFE and what I want to do."
Dr. Rape Farm "Well, I need to control what my children are going to think and do in the future and for me to do that I need to have control of everyone around me and LYING BLATANTLY allows me to do that with greater ease. So I need you to shut the hell up so I can distill these retards into an abstract phantom and trick them into locking themselves into a state of perpetual solipsism so they don't interfere with MY LIFE and what I want to do."
by Hym Iam March 12, 2024
Get the Better alternativemug. Basically its what people who listen to indie name punk, emo, current rock, punk pop,or screamo without knowing the names or actual music of those genres.
by Mermaidhipster December 13, 2013
Get the rock alternativemug. To use a different (alternate) approach to solving a problem when the standard approach doesn't work, an approach that is less complicated than improvising.
There was no bell at the hotel front desk, so we alternized by saying "ding, ding" until the clerk came out of the back room.
by JBoftheWikipedia July 24, 2009
Get the alternizemug. Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.
Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.
by QuacksO November 5, 2018
Get the chocolate-milk alternativemug. Refers to the more light-hearted/trivial-affliction-related (i.e., non-substance-abuse or other serious-addiction-type condition) gatherings of sufferers where everyone shares life-stories and fellowship, and tries to assist each other in reducing/alleviating said unfortunate conditions/infirmities. Examples would include Belchers Anonymous (at all the other meetings listed here, they serve you tasty carbonated drinks, but at this meeting, you only get non-fizzy libation so that you won't start burping!), Bellyachers Anonymous, Colliders Anonymous (for folks who often clumsily blunder into objects/people), Foot-steppers Anonymous (again, this would be for those of you who don't adequately watch where you're walking, and so you accidentally tread on others' toes a lot), Groaners Anonymous (they seat you in chairs with heating-pads and offer you pain-relievers), Grumblers Anonymous, Stumblers Anonymous, Whiners Anonymous, Yawners Anonymous (at all the other meetings they let you sit on comfy upholstered chairs, but here they make you sit on hard wooden benches so that you don't get too relaxed and then start sleepily displaying your tonsils), etc.
One amusing fact about alternative anonymous meetings is that quite a number of any particular meeting's attendees may also suffer from a lot of the maladies and shortcomings addressed in other anonymous meetings, as well (i.e., achy people who copiously moan and groan also tend to complain a lot and mindlessly bumble into and/or step on the feet of unsuspecting souls unfortunate enough to happen to be in their paths), and so you tend to see a lot of familiar faces at many of the various meetings.
by QuacksO July 12, 2019
Get the alternative anonymous meetingsmug. The only choice you get in some situations, and you just comply with it as you're too cowardly to stand up for your needs. Named after Anthony LaPusso, the entitled, privileged son-brat of Daniel and Amanda LaRusso. He has been raised with plenty of video games around him. His dad, Daniel, wrote him blank checks every time and gave him a Miyagi-do Karate Gi even though he didn't want to "wax on" and "wax off." His mom, Amanda, and sis, Samantha, drive him everywhere. Anthony doesn't really need to take adult responsibilities as his family would always be looking out for him.
That's why, when there's a tough and unpredictable situation, instead of battling it out, Anthony goes for the LaPusso Alternative and just takes whatever is being offered because he's too scared of antagonizing his parents, who might write him off the family inheritance and any trust funds. He's also scared of the school principal and other authority figures.
In a way, the LaPusso Alternative is actually a good choice when you have too much to lose because of owning responsibilities for your actions. After all, when everything is served to you on a platter, only a fool would choose the harder path in life.
That's why, when there's a tough and unpredictable situation, instead of battling it out, Anthony goes for the LaPusso Alternative and just takes whatever is being offered because he's too scared of antagonizing his parents, who might write him off the family inheritance and any trust funds. He's also scared of the school principal and other authority figures.
In a way, the LaPusso Alternative is actually a good choice when you have too much to lose because of owning responsibilities for your actions. After all, when everything is served to you on a platter, only a fool would choose the harder path in life.
Carjacker: "Give me all your money. kid. And the car!"
Victim: "All right, man. Don't kill me please. Listen you can take the car, and you can keep my wallet. But can you just spare me $10 so I can take the bus home."
Carjacker: "Nopes. you don't get anything. Tell you what? You can walk all the way home. Be thankful I spared your life, and you're not going to wake up in a hospital. "
Victim: "OK man. there's always the LaPusso alternative. Keep my car, and my wallet. I will walk all the way home."
Carjacker: "Fuck off, LaPusso."
Victim: "All right, man. Don't kill me please. Listen you can take the car, and you can keep my wallet. But can you just spare me $10 so I can take the bus home."
Carjacker: "Nopes. you don't get anything. Tell you what? You can walk all the way home. Be thankful I spared your life, and you're not going to wake up in a hospital. "
Victim: "OK man. there's always the LaPusso alternative. Keep my car, and my wallet. I will walk all the way home."
Carjacker: "Fuck off, LaPusso."
by Third World Sam December 10, 2024
Get the LaPusso alternativemug. Rare but really annoying form of lag, it gives you anywhere from 0.5 to 1.5 seconds of freeze, and then flips to 0.5 to 1.5 seconds of decent FPS.
So, I have half a second to run away from these blazes, before it freezes me for 1.5 seconds, to so I DON'T experience to full fun of running away from blazes... FUCK YOU TO HELL, Alternating lag!
by Itz Rob August 27, 2016
Get the Alternating lagmug.