Jesus

That funny guy your middle age mom, 90 Year old grandpa and a couple of the neighbor kids talk about

They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday

I ain’t buying that nonsense!

Jesus more like jeSUS

Haha got em

Your Jesus obsessed mom: Ayy you know jebis is gonna judge yo ass for your sins someday right?

You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds

Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE

by VeryGoodwithWords May 16, 2021

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Get the Jesusmug.

Jesus Christ

honestly the coolest guy i know

these weird athiest fuckers piss me off in the definitions

Jesus Christ is very cool

by me lolita September 3, 2025

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Get the Jesus Christmug.

Jetway Jesus

Falsely needing wheelchairs at airports, to get priority boarding when getting ON the plane, but NO LONGER NEED THE WHEELCHAIRS upon arrival.

On that last flight, 14 passengers got on the plane by wheelchair, but by the time we got to Los Angeles, 10 of them had been miraculously healed by "Jetway Jesus!"

by NobodyHereButUsChickens May 26, 2024

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Get the Jetway Jesusmug.

Jesus

I'm not COMPARING myself to Jesus. I figured out WHY Jesus. This is just what you do to people.

Hym "Amd you don't want me to submit to Jesus. You want me to submit to you by proxy. Jesus isn't here and even if he came back today I wouldn't submit to him. AND! AND... If he is real... He can't even do anything about it because I'm immortal."

by Hym Iam March 2, 2025

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Get the Jesusmug.

Jesus H. God

A quite humorous variation of “Jesus H. Christ”, most famously used in the 1986 film “Short Circuit”. An apt term for expressing your extreme shock at a sudden turn of events.

Weather reporter: “Folks in the DFW area may not be able to see the April 8th solar eclipse due to cloud coverage.”

Person who invested time and money to travel to Texas specifically for this event: “JESUS H. GOD!”

by Alex-2598 April 4, 2024

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