ba-jesus

the living shit

cocky boy: “ilysm”
nerdy girl: “BOOB”
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”

by ballslicker9000but69 November 22, 2021

Jesus Chirst

Jesus Chirst, not to be confused with Jesus Christ, is what atheists believe in.

Jesus Chirst is the best, yo

by Delerium_22 November 6, 2025

jesus nap

a Jesus nap is where you feel like you're gonna die from whatever you ate and you just have to sleep for the salvation of those around you.

After a nice brunch, complete with mimosas, I think it's time for a Jesus Nap.

by jpeg1024 April 5, 2015

Russian Jesus

The man who walked on tanks

Turned water into Vodka

Gave children trench coats

His mom was a mob boss

His dad was a whore

Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD

by Mr. Jesus.com March 23, 2022

Jesus

Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much that he died for your sins, a painful, brutal death. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want you to have to suffer what he did. He chose YOU. He chose LOVE.

He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.

Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗

“Jesus loves you!”

by Jesuschristisking December 21, 2024

Jesus

A attention seeking male. One might see him and say “ there that fag goes”. He is most commonly known for not excepting rejection and for playing for the “wrong team”. He loves to be respectfully to adults but hates girls unless they like him. Is a pathological liar and lies to make himself feel better.

Jesus: *walks by*

The boys: “hey fag”
Jesus: “hey guys” *says shyly*

by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023

Jesus

biggest liar ever, will break your heart, bad-looking, acts sweet, is actually a bitch.

Jesus is a big lying bitch.

by culurful October 16, 2021