The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique

Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?

Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"

by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.

"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ

by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023

St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017

Jesus

God’s right hand man and son. He is a handsome, kind , caring , and a strong lover boy. He also has a heart of a lion and a hard working man providing for his family and friends. Always makes his friends his number 1 priority. He will also make sure that you’re okay and doing well throughout the day. Though his weaknesses are what makes him struggle, always falling in love at first sight and easily being attached to his lover. Girls never appreciate him but he soon makes them realize it’s their lost. He has the strongest dick game in the history of mankind so if you ever have one in your life, keep him.

Girl: Do you see that guy over there? He’s cute.

Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍

by Contrabando De lo Dioses November 23, 2021

Baby Jesus in a manger

The act of resting a little nugget of hash on top of a bed of weed in your pipe or bong

Yo man, hit this bowl, I put a baby Jesus in a manger, you'll get high AF

by Vice420 November 21, 2022

jesus torres

Tall Mexican in WA

Jesus Torres is a tall Mexican

by 'mericafuckyeah June 2, 2017

João De Jesus

João De Jesus is the most amazing person you'll ever meet, when he comes into your life he will be ur highest point and only take you higher. He has a 11 incher and going strong, He's caring and the sweetestperson you'll ever meet, curious about the world and all the cultures and histories and fucken smexxxxy in a hoodie. Has multiple pink florida shorts and even though he acts gay and retared he isn't ( the game part), he loles to work on himslef and fet better and gives back to the community, may or may not be racists, he comforts well and is understanding

He has a beautiful soul and a beautiful at of seeing life and will open u up so many new experiences, he will be the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Jack : " if João De Jesus was gay id hit that"
Bob : " nah he's just a little dyslexic, but he's the best person you'll ever know"

by He's my world March 27, 2024