god told me to

you hit your friends and when they are like wtf mate, you say "God told me to"
alex: WTF y did you punch me
other guy: God told me to
by tiziofreddo May 06, 2005
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god bless america

The most retarded phrase ever spoken...
redneck/hick/republican/KKK fan: "God bless America Lets go Kill some Gays,Blacks and Jews!
someone who actually thinks straight: ok why is it that you seem to think that god would actually want you to kill Gays Blacks and Jews infact why would you think that god would want you to kill anyone.
by Zach Goldman November 25, 2007
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God's Gift to Men

God’s gift to men would be their penis. Egotistical men often believe all women want their penis, that they can please any woman or man with their penis, and that their penis is the best. Their penis can impregnate a woman so therefor it must be magical which is why men can rarely ever stop playing with their penis for it gives them great pleasure with a few strokes of the wrist.

Men love their penis so much that without thinking they must share it with people on dating sites or via text messaging. If wrong then the term “dick pic” wouldn’t exist.
She thinks she's God's gift to men, but she's wrong because she wasn't born with a dong. She had to buy hers.

He thinks he's God's gift to men and will give or get it in the end.
by Sagealicious September 11, 2016
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god fucking damn

hilarious combination of god-damn and fucking
used by bunny from the retarded animal babies
bunny: 'did i die again? god fucking damn!'
by :leo: January 09, 2006
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Tim, God of Time

A deity that holds control over the flow of time, and all things relating to aforementioned flow. Tim is also a god of harassment, as he tends to use his godly power for evil, torturing people by speeding and slowing time. He may even stop time all together if he's feeling extra evil.
Employer: "Why are you late? This interview was planned months ahead of time!"
Applicant: "I'm so sorry, I had a run in with Tim, God of Time and he made me miss my bus."
by TimeGodTim December 05, 2015
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gods chili fingers

gods chili fingers is a sexual act originated in the plaza district of Oklahoma City when a limo driver stuck his fingers in a butt and licked them off. bringing to the world the act of gods chili fingers.
"man this limo driver gave me a ride home and tried to pull some gods chili fingers on me"

"no way man hope you were prepared to kick and run!"
by tattooer_of_the_gods December 17, 2013
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