Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

St. Mattress

worship from bed, usually very loud "OH GOD" repeated a lot

them: religious preference?
me: st. mattress...it's very exclusive!

by thatnoodlyappendage December 31, 2011

Club Mattress

The bed you lay in instead of going to the gym.

I'm supposed to get a work-out in, but I'm lounging in club mattress instead.

by PapiLoco June 02, 2010