mattress lap

An bountifully haired pubic region, usually on a female, with the appearance of a part stuffed mattress.

Uncommon due to the exponential growth of styled pubic depilation amongst the teen and twenty something demographic.

Wow look at that!!

Ya think it's a merkin?

Mebbe, but it is a she is a true Mattress Lap

by Townsman July 28, 2016

Green tea mattress

When you eat healthy and blow your load on the bed, making your partner sleep in the wet spot.

"Don't worry, it's good for your skin, it's a green tea mattress"

"My girl was so mad, I gave her a green tea mattress treatment"

by insanoclan August 29, 2016

Gave them the mattress pump

To reveal to someone you’re engaged

“I wanted to take her by surprise revealing my ring so i gave them the mattress pump”

by socialelitist666 September 27, 2025

Queen Mattress

The counterpart of a pillow princess, a lesbian who wants to give sexual pleasure but is not interested in receiving it.

Jane Lynch has queen mattress vibes

by Bleaking April 17, 2025

stinkin the mattress out

When you're toking it in your dorm room/basement and it's really dank.

Hey man you smell Adam's car? He was really stinkin the mattress out with that zaza.

by The Borax August 2, 2024

punching mattresses

something about a car seat
and maybe its headrest?

Will: you should stop punching mattresses.

by xxEnzoxx August 25, 2023

Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009