morning wood

Perhaps one of the greatest of God's creations, but at the same time the worst. It all depends on the circumstances. When the body goes into REM sleep, capillaries go into hyper vasodilation, and thus the penis becomes goes in one of the most intense and hardest erections a man can experience.

TEACHER: Tommy!? You're late again! Care to explain!?
TOMMY: You want the truth?
TEACHER: Yes!
TOMMY: OK, here it goes. For the past few mornings, I've woken up with some gnarly morning wood, and to waste something is a sin; so, I took full advantage of the situation each time.

DAN: Dude, what's up? You sick or something?
JAKE: No, man. I slept naked last night, and slept in this morning to the point where my mom came into my room and threw the sheets off of me. I had massive morning wood, dude, and she saw it. AWKWARD!!!

by JSF87 June 14, 2011

morning sausage

(n): cock in the morning after a good lick and suckfest by partner
(v): the sucking of a partners purple headed yogurt slinger in the morning

Dave: This tastes like morning sausage
Tony: Like when you wake your boyfriend up with a blowjob
Dave: Exactly
Tony: Wow, your gay
Dave: I really like the cock

by Vag Pounder December 18, 2007

Morning Boner Mangina Pissing

MBMP, MBMPing or Morning Boner Mangina Pissing is the only alternative to attempting to piss with morning boner and subsequently pissing all over the walls and floor of your bathroom. It is a simple technique, unconventional, but highly effective, wherein you stand with your ass facing the toilet, take your four fingers with your thumb extended upwards at a 90 degree angle, and fold your dick back between your legs as if to create a mangina.

Then, bending over and looking between your legs at the toilet behind you to ensure you do not miss the bowl, you proceed to piss, firmly holding your morning boner in place to prevent it from springing up and wreaking havoc.

Using this technique will allow you to avoid pissing in the shower or having to painfull force your boner downwards

Example #1:

Steve (to Bill): I can't stay over at my girlfriend's house anymore man
Bill: why not?
Steve: her mom caught me morning boner mangina pissing last time and now thinks I'm some sort of queer.
Bill: she obviously doens't know anything about dealing with a rock solid, red hot morning boner.
Steve and Bill: (yelling together) Morning Boner Mangina Pissing!

by shiteater9000 April 14, 2010

The morning after pill

Sometimes emergency contraception is needed to prevent pregnancy after sex - for example, if the pill is missed, a condom breaks or in the case of being sexually assaulted. The morning after pill is a form of emergency contraception that must be started within 72 hours of having unprotected sex.

Girls- if u r raped or whatever make sure u take the morning after pill!!!

by ball_master September 19, 2005

Morning Cup of Tea

The first urination of the day.

Guy: Good morning sweetie.
Girl: Good morning.
Guy: I'm going to go make my morning cup of tea.
Girl: I hope it's a good one.

by Dode May 25, 2009

Morning Scratch

The prolonged scratching session to a man's junk in the morning. Usually done before getting out of bed or while on the toilet.

oh jeeze, I really need a morning scratch!..............Ah yeah.........there we go.

by venatio April 4, 2010

Morning Woot

Extreme excitement when someone wakes up in the morning.

John screamed as he was woken up by morning woot.

by e.p.ftw August 11, 2011