stinkin the mattress out

When you're toking it in your dorm room/basement and it's really dank.

Hey man you smell Adam's car? He was really stinkin the mattress out with that zaza.

by The Borax August 2, 2024

Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009

mattress sniffer

A mattress sniffer, someone who hides under a bed in the hope of sniffing their ladies period leaks

Man I'm such a mattress sniffer, last night I hid under the bed with my wife's tampons so she had no choice but to leak her red gushing goodness everywhere

by StretchyRaff November 29, 2016

mattress-magnetism

A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.

I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.

by QuacksO January 31, 2019

Gave them the mattress pump

To reveal to someone you’re engaged

“I wanted to take her by surprise revealing my ring so i gave them the mattress pump”

by socialelitist666 September 27, 2025

Mattress Gravy

mattress gravy (n):
when you and a hooker fuck in the hooker's bed but make sure not to get it in her.

"Fuck man, I feel so ashamed. I just made some mattress gravy last night."

by Slang Bitch September 25, 2017

Mattress Baguette

A derogatory insult describing a person akin to that little piece of bread wedged between your mattress and wall which has been giving you cockroaches and other critters.

You cheated on me, you're a mattress baguette.

by Pumpkinzz March 2, 2025