In a secret town in the back alley of a McDonald’s in North Korea (run by Kim jong un with Donald Trump as the sales assistant), it’s a store where you can hire an assassin for one day and get them to kill as many people as you want in only one day.
O. Boy I sure do love my assassin batman I bought at ASSASSINS ‘R’ US.. it was so useful... boy i should go there again shame I’m an American citizen
by Pezunts March 12, 2018
Get the ASSASSINS ‘R’ USmug. Your murderers might come with a smaile, but they're not usually wearing one when they kill you. Not all shooters are male, so a smiling shooter/assassin is rare in either sex.
by Solid Mantis March 7, 2021
Get the Smiling shooter/assassinmug. Oh? The truckazord looking cripple wants me dead? I wonder why... You see what's wrong with them (existentially) right? He's just like that other cripple Noah. The money and the women aren't enough for him to you have to force me to pretend I'm inferior or that they aren't crippled or it isn't any fun for him to have all the money and the women.
Hym "Good! Now is the perfect time to assassinate me, actually! I just figured out how to solve the dead-man switch problem! So, if we assume there is no afterlife, there is no way for me to find out whether or not the dead-man switch works on the bomb that I am, right? WRONG! Here's what we do: Announce my death publicly BEFORE you kill me... THEN... I'll get to see whether or not it works! Get it? Problem solved!"
by Hym Iam March 28, 2024
Get the Assassinatemug. One difference between that guy and Kennedy is nobody would spend the kind of money they spent to off Kennedy on offing him. His death would be a budget assassination, something like a guy going to buy milk getting shot on the way to the store.
by Solid Mantis March 15, 2021
Get the budget assassinationmug. A satirical joke assassin is an annoying ass person who doesn't know the difference between a real thing and a joke. Because of this, they will usually comment below posts that are obviously satire and comment saying that it's not real.(It obviously wasn't it was a joke) Usually they they the sentence with "Um...Actually."
Person: Gta strippers will pop out of the game and give u h*ad irl
Satirical Joke Assassin: Um...Actually, this this not true. This account is spreading misinformation about Grand Theft Auto VI. Sorry to anyone that believed this, (no one) and I'm looking out for you guys on the internet.
Satirical Joke Assassin: Um...Actually, this this not true. This account is spreading misinformation about Grand Theft Auto VI. Sorry to anyone that believed this, (no one) and I'm looking out for you guys on the internet.
by Rockstarjoker June 7, 2023
Get the Satirical Joke Assassinmug. by Xlllllxlllxlxlll August 14, 2022
Get the lovers assassinsmug. The psychological condition in which one thinks they are an elite level assassin but they are actually just a normal human being.
The syndrome usually comes with randomly pointing guns to the sky or empty windows, plotting how to murder someone, daydreaming about being an assassin, etc.
The syndrome usually comes with randomly pointing guns to the sky or empty windows, plotting how to murder someone, daydreaming about being an assassin, etc.
Andrew's wildest fantasy is that he jumps off one building onto a helicopter after assassinating a billionaire, but in reality he needs someone to help him with his Assassin's syndrome.
by Ackernoon August 15, 2019
Get the Assassin's syndromemug.