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jumped up joe jesus

A term used regularly by Jack Williams of Granville NY. The term is widely believed to have originated with Mr Williams and was applied to situations Jack did not approve of.
“What in the jumped up Joe Jesus are you idiots up to now?”.
by Baddkharmaaz January 2, 2025
mugGet the jumped up joe jesusmug.

Jesus

Our God is an awesome God.
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God.
Chaos%: *Spawn Extreme Griefer Jesus*
Person2: *sings Jesus song*
by EmilyChi March 13, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A piece of human scum who hates everyone and cares for no one
by azues November 21, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.

A way of saying "You know I'm right" when someone gets angry at you for speaking the truth. According to scripture, the Pharisees were a group of Jewish elders in Judea (the name of Israel under Roman occupation) who took every chance they could get to catch Jesus and his disciples lacking.
Virgin Woke Urbanist: Amtrak is bad! travel cross-country by air! Or on a Greyhound bus!

Chad Nerd: Actually, there's nothing wrong with Amtrak, and aside from Greyhound, they were picking up the slack during the recent airline meltdowns.

VWU: NO! SHUT UP! THAT'S NOT TRUE!

CN: The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.
by Stupidly Sophisticated January 15, 2023
mugGet the The Pharisees hated Jesus because he told them the truth.mug.

Jesus

Jesus is a dumbass he likes Rylie but won’t admit it he has orange hair and looks like ginger overall he is in love with Rylie
Jesus likes Rylie
by I do t know November 24, 2021
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus

A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!

Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!

Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?

Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!

Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

Jesus Piece

A man’s genitals, specifically the shaft
Girl throw throw those yams on my Jesus piece
by Jahnutz August 3, 2024
mugGet the Jesus Piecemug.

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