spider flu

A mutated strain of Influenza, having symptoms of both the common Flu and those of severe spider bites. Essentially, it's a really bad flu (fever, vomiting, nausea, congestion), along with shortness of breath and swelling, discoloration, and rashes on the skin.

I tried to get to the gym last night, but was diagnosed with a sever case of the spider flu and couldn't move.

by SpiderFlu November 6, 2013

spider slam

The act of a man and a woman having vaginal or anal sex while the male is in the act of defecating. While the man is seated on the toilet the woman mounts him face to face with her legs extending toward the tank or wall. The legs of the intertwined lovers resembles a spider.

My girl walked in while I was taking a dump and gave me a spider slam.

by themooserislooser November 20, 2010

Spiders webbed

A spider man like fling of seamen from one's hand onto the face of another.

Beeds, i just spiders webbed this sloot.

by Beeds January 12, 2008

spider bark

To pass gas, to fart, gasses passing through the anus causing various fluttering or squealing noises

What was that sound that came from your butt and smells bad grandpa? That was a spider bark, my boy.

by Dix Fix July 19, 2018

sharting spider

A sharting spider is a particularly heinous sub-specie of the "Barking Spider" in that it's defense method is not just a warning signal and fowl smell, but also warns potential predators with a deposit of substance known by naturalists as 'beware brown'. They are particularly fond of burrowing in 'tighty whiteys'.

subject 1: (Notices subject 2's dirty underwear on the floor) "Woah! Either you never learned to wipe your ass or you were born without a sphincter!"

Subject 2: "What?....No...I'm dealing with an infestation of Sharting Spiders. That wasn't me!"

by Prince of dorkness June 21, 2010

Spicy Spider

Before an intimate night with her man, a woman hides a bottle of hot sauce next to the bed. Post fellatio, the woman adds some of the hot sauce to her mouthful of man juice, thus creating a venomous con"cock"tion. The woman then bites the "victim" like unto a spider (i.e. a brown recluse or camel (toe) spider or even banana spider) injecting the poison into the man who is still in a post cum delirium. To add insult to injury, she can also spit in his grill piece.

Nate: Dude, I know why they call Jen the black widow!
Mikel: Oh really, why?
Nate: Yeah! Last night she gave me a spicy spider!
Mikel: Totally tubular bro.!

by nathaniel69 January 11, 2008

spider balls

vericos veins in your ball sack

Chris you should let a doctor look at your spider balls

by rans0515 February 8, 2010