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The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem

The theory that all male-identifying individuals can be categorized as either a pirate, a cowboy, or an astronaut. Some combination thereof is a possibility, but one classification is always dominant. The categories need no defined criteria because the correct placement is almost always surprisingly obvious.
"I really like him, which is surprising because based on The Pirate Cowboy Astronaut Theorem he's more of an astronaut, and I'm usually more attracted to pirate men."
"I get that. I'm mostly into cowboys at the moment, but I could definitely see myself settling down with an astronaut one day."
by hannahmadison69 January 19, 2024
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Grumulum's Theorem

A: How did you get the correct answer on this test when you're failing the class?
B: I just used Grumulum's Theorem.
by RealCraigles January 25, 2024
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Prince of Thevoryed

"OH COME ON"
"What now?"
"I got Prince of Thevoryed"
by Potato fan February 4, 2024
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Jordan Curve Theorem

The Jordan curve theorem states that a non-self intersecting continuous loop in the plane(i.e. a Jordan Curve) divides the plane into an interior and exterior region.

To prove the theorem, we shall us proof by fucking obviousness. It's a closed loop, of course there's going to be an outside and inside. Humans have been making borders and fences for millenia and this still needs to be proven?? What am I supposed to say? It's so bloody obvious!
It's like trying to prove 1+1=2. Why the fuck is this even a theorem? Not even worth to be a Lemma or Corollary tbh. This trivial ass bitch.
"Yo man, you heard of Jordan Curve Theorem? How do I prove it for our upcoming exam", asked John, he was found dead, cut in 25 pieces, by the police after 4 days.
by geno singh March 12, 2024
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The Montourian Theorem

A theorem created by Harrison Montour on March 22, 2024
X*9+X+9=X9
This theorem works with any Positive, Whole number.
6 times 9 plus 6 plus 9 equals 69 is an example of The Montourian Theorem where X=6
by Scooter08 March 22, 2024
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Actual Lives vs Theoretical Lives

To say "Dropping the nuclear bomb saved lives" is to weigh the actual lives lost against the theoretical lives that would have been theoretically lost and is to assume 1. That you can accurately predict how long the war was going to last and 2. You can accurately predict how many lives would have been lost.
Hym "Actual lives vs theoretical lives, Ben. You can't say that with any degree of ACTUAL certainty. Not intelligent and doing an incest cult doesn't make you better than everyone."
by Hym Iam April 29, 2024
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Ocean King Theorem

Cambridge International Education IGCSE First Language English exams always tend to have something in common. There will always be an 'implicit meaning' point of something attempting to be funny but the students never find it amusing, which is why they usually lose points in those points. This conundrum is usually referred to as the 'Ocean King Theorem' due to it being always referenced to a past exam that had a man supposed to be funny known as the Ocean King.
That exam we just did had an Ocean King Theorem ass joke. Whoever wrote this test needs better humor, I never knew a Bengal tiger was meant to be funny.
by marcelorhvp May 10, 2024
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