Modern Jesus

Modern Jesus is a term used for someone who criticizes every thing someone does and thinks that everything they do is perfect.
Person 1: Are you serious you shouldn't smoke it's bad for your lungs.

Person 2: Stfu modern Jesus!
by Pennella August 15, 2017
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Jesus Goodbye

When someone announces their departure from a social gathering, disappears for a while, and then unexpectedly returns, much like Jesus' resurrection.
Tom executed the ultimate Jesus goodbye at the dinner party, informing everyone he was heading home, only to reappear an hour later with a fresh round of drinks
by SausageTunnel March 31, 2024
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jesus pur

1. A person who loves to PK in the game of Runescape. | 2. Having a full friends list. | 3. #kool ftw. | 4. Someone who loves to play Zelda. | 5. To know where your front door is.
Guy 1 "Wow! He has been playing Ocarina of Time all day!" Guy 2 "Yea, hes such a jesus pur."
by Turglow June 21, 2010
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jesus chfist

i spelld jesus chris twrpng dajmmit
frick ims tupid jesus chfist
by hannahahnahah October 29, 2019
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jesus fucking christ

when ur actually severely injured and.......
Rob: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MY FUCKING ARM IS FUCKING CUT OPEN LIKE A PUSSY GOD HELP THE FUCKING PAIN FGFHTDGHFHGDHDFSGRSGHFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKK *inhales* AHAGAGAHGAGAHYHAHAAAAGAGAGGGAGAAAAAAÀÆAAAAAA *lungs start to collapse* HAGHAGHAGAHHGAGAGEEEAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYUUUUUU AUGEGHGHGHGHGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *right lung is collapsed* LORD PLEASE SEND ME TO HEAVEN BEFORE I DIE I'M SORRY FOR BEING HORNY, WATCHING HENTAI, AND JERKING OFF, AGAHAGAFGFFGAAAAAAAAAA *fucking dies*
by XxXdickblue1XxX November 16, 2021
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obama jesus

God like form of grand Master obama
by Boymansupa September 13, 2021
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Southern Jesus tug

When someone (usually from a southern state) is to poor to afford an abortion, so they take a cross and brutally beat the woman’s stomach in the name of the lord until nothing but gork comes out.
Me and sally couldn’t get our baby aborted by professionals, so we had billy do a southern Jesus tug.
by I have a PhD in words January 01, 2018
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