jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

jesus muncher

Anybody who is part of a religion that has jesus as the son of god and is so devoted to where it sickens those around them

Bro im tring to hookup with that cute redhead

Dude dont bother she talks bout jesus and god too damn much she s a total jesus muncher

by MJP2100 December 26, 2013

St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017

Jesus

God’s right hand man and son. He is a handsome, kind , caring , and a strong lover boy. He also has a heart of a lion and a hard working man providing for his family and friends. Always makes his friends his number 1 priority. He will also make sure that you’re okay and doing well throughout the day. Though his weaknesses are what makes him struggle, always falling in love at first sight and easily being attached to his lover. Girls never appreciate him but he soon makes them realize it’s their lost. He has the strongest dick game in the history of mankind so if you ever have one in your life, keep him.

Girl: Do you see that guy over there? He’s cute.

Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍

by Contrabando De lo Dioses November 23, 2021

The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique

Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?

Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"

by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.

"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ

by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023

Jesus christ

a person who never existed, probably made up for fame.

That guy said he owns urban dictionary!

I bet 5 bucks he’s a Jesus Christ.

by THARSHEBLOES March 12, 2025