Modern Jesus

Modern Jesus is a term used for someone who criticizes every thing someone does and thinks that everything they do is perfect.
Person 1: Are you serious you shouldn't smoke it's bad for your lungs.

Person 2: Stfu modern Jesus!
by Pennella August 15, 2017
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Jesus Goodbye

When someone announces their departure from a social gathering, disappears for a while, and then unexpectedly returns, much like Jesus' resurrection.
Tom executed the ultimate Jesus goodbye at the dinner party, informing everyone he was heading home, only to reappear an hour later with a fresh round of drinks
by SausageTunnel March 31, 2024
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jesus pur

1. A person who loves to PK in the game of Runescape. | 2. Having a full friends list. | 3. #kool ftw. | 4. Someone who loves to play Zelda. | 5. To know where your front door is.
Guy 1 "Wow! He has been playing Ocarina of Time all day!" Guy 2 "Yea, hes such a jesus pur."
by Turglow June 21, 2010
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Radio Jesus

The greatest, best looking, squish chasing, beer chugging, tobacco chewing son of a trucker in the by God county.

If you don't like this guy then you have poor taste in people and flat out suck at life in the biggest kind of way.
"Bruh, nobody is cooler than Rick Flair."
"Radio Jesus son."
"Damn bruh. Got me there."
by WayzataRules May 03, 2018
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Jesus Canastuj

The realest mf. HE OWNS THE STREETS YA HEARD. PREACH FOR THIS GUY CUZ HE A PIMP AMEN.
Jesus Canastuj be balling wit money
by Chuyy101 November 24, 2021
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When a person, usually in response to pain, emotional or physical, begins a crazed angry yelling to vent their frustration, often going down the list of the curse words they know.
I stubbed my toe
"Jesus Godamn Fuck Shit Damn Bitch Motherfucker!" I yelled
by Leonidas of Alexandria March 06, 2024
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Surprise? Jesus!

Waking up to active morning sex to find someone you would not have chosen to have sex with had you been sober.
After a long night at the club, I woke to morning sex, saw them and said “Surprise? Jesus!”
by Deckard253x May 20, 2020
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