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Jesus

Jesus is Lord. He loves you so much that he died for your sins, a painful, brutal death. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want you to have to suffer what he did. He chose YOU. He chose LOVE.

He rose again and lives in our hearts. Now you don’t have to bear the pain that he did. He knew that you would curse him,mock him and sin against him. Regardless, that didn’t stop him from giving you a chance at heaven, a chance at a better life where no suffering or tears exist. I can promise you the love you’ve felt on this earth is nothing compared to his.

Tomorrow is not promised so use it wisely. May God guide you and bless you, Amen.💗
by Jesuschristisking December 21, 2024
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Jesus

biggest liar ever, will break your heart, bad-looking, acts sweet, is actually a bitch.
Jesus is a big lying bitch.
by culurful October 16, 2021
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ba-jesus

cocky boy: “ilysm”
nerdy girl: “BOOB”
cocky boy: “you suck you just scared the ba-jesus out of me”
by ballslicker9000but69 November 22, 2021
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AI Jesus

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
by Hym Iam June 7, 2024
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Jesus

"Jesus is my lord and savior"
"Mine too bro, thanks be to god"
"Amen"
by poopsock. March 31, 2022
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Green Jesus

Description for some bomb ass weed that has you seeing the Matrix...
'Chilling at home, playing Borderlands, stoned off my ass on that Green Jesus...'
by otismakesmusic March 10, 2023
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