a term used to describe something shocking, or so dumfounded and stupid.
Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!

specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.

Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 16, 2017
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gold star from jesus

A reference to the crown season 2, episode 6, vergangenhiet.
Prince Philip stumbles in drunk into his wifes room after he celebrated her kicking a nazi out of the country.
He drunkly proclaims that she is heroic and deserves a gold star from jesus.
person 1: yo, my sister just gave me $200

person 2: she deserves a gold star from jesus
by thecrownstan April 24, 2019
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Double fist me the Jesus

Coffee. And lots of it. Originally used because someone was having two iced coffees
Im having a stressful day. Double fist me the Jesus!
by PKlady March 25, 2023
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Jesus it’s early

When you wake up at 3 in the afternoon and need a beer.
Jesus it’s early, lys, get me a beer!
by Junior A god August 01, 2018
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Green Jesus

Description for some bomb ass weed that has you seeing the Matrix...
'Chilling at home, playing Borderlands, stoned off my ass on that Green Jesus...'
by otismakesmusic March 10, 2023
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AI Jesus

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
by Hym Iam June 07, 2024
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Jesus Squee

Any over-enthusiastic literature or preaching by any Christian faction.
Watchtower is both Jesus Squee and Fundie Fanfic.

"Take yer Jesus Squee and ram it, darned Witnesses"
by Kahless the Unforgettable August 26, 2008
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