That funny guy your middle age mom, 90 Year old grandpa and a couple of the neighbor kids talk about
They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday
I ain’t buying that nonsense!
Jesus more like jeSUS
Haha got em
They say he can perform miracles and heal people like fuckin shining diamond or some shit and that he’ll come back from the dead someday
I ain’t buying that nonsense!
Jesus more like jeSUS
Haha got em
Your Jesus obsessed mom: Ayy you know jebis is gonna judge yo ass for your sins someday right?
You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds
Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE
You: Nah homie that mf dead let’s get you your meds
Your mom: REEEEEEEEEE
by VeryGoodwithWords May 16, 2021
Get the Jesusmug. by Kachowism August 10, 2024
Get the Jesus spizzimmug. Yeah they aren't going to be in any order. It'll just be as I think of them. I actually thought of these a while ago but whatever...
Guard "Um, ah shit this is gonna suck- Harod? Um... King Harod?"
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
Harod "What!?"
Guard "Um... Shit... There's a guy running around saying he's the creature dawg."
Harod "Pft! What!?" *snickers*
Guard "Uh... Yeah... It's pretty bad man."
Harod "Wait, what?" 🤨
Guard "Yeah, no he is walkin on water and shit... Making fish-"
Harod "MAKING FISH! OH! OOOOOOH SHIT"
Guard "Yeah........"
Harod "OOOOOH SHIT! OH! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! OOOOOH! THIS!"
Guard "Yeah..."
Harod "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Guard "I donno man..."
Harod "OOOOH SHIT.... He is going to fuck our shit UP MY GUY!"
Guard "Damn..."
Harod "Yeah! This is not a good thing. What's happening right now? We are fucked! Oh man- Where is it!? What is it even doing!? What do I even call it!?"
Guard "He's- Yeah... He's like a guy man. He's Jesus. He's got a name and everything. He's like a guy now... In the world. Just HERE."
Harod 😨
Guard "Yahp..."
Harod "Get it. Get rid of it. Wait! Bring it here... Bring it here I need to see it."
Guard "How... Am I supposed to..."
Harod "Bwah, shit I don't know... Get a bunch of guys. Grab him. Put him in a sack."
Guard *sigh*
Harod "Yeahyeah I know it's... Look. We gotta get it man. Holy shit this is really bad..."
Guard "Yeah... Alright..."
by Hym Iam August 9, 2023
Get the Jesusmug. Guy with the Thickest biggest cock you’ll ever see. Thinking His name makes you moan. Woman love him and men are jealous of him.
by Queen queefa March 22, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. God/Jesus is our Lord and Savior that died on the cross for our sins. God is the father, son, and the holy spirit.
by Ilove_jesus June 9, 2023
Get the God/Jesusmug. A Bomb the Lord would Love ... Redbull and Red Wine of your choice 🍷🙏 Get your wings and get right with Christ... Cheers
by B k i z z l e January 15, 2022
Get the Jesus Bombmug. by me lolita September 3, 2025
Get the Jesus Christmug.