1. Sex with Stephen Colbert, or masturbating to a sexual fantasy involving Stephen Colbert.
2. Sexual acts using maple syrup as a lubricant; so named because it is often a very memorable experience.
3. The term for a group of sex acts so depraved that even to describe them to a consenting adult in the privacy of your home amounts to a violation of censorship laws.
4. The term given to a case history of someone who suffers from a rare sexual disorder resulting from their involvement in sex acts perpetrated by officials employed by the Canadian government during the late 1990's and early 2000's.
2. Sexual acts using maple syrup as a lubricant; so named because it is often a very memorable experience.
3. The term for a group of sex acts so depraved that even to describe them to a consenting adult in the privacy of your home amounts to a violation of censorship laws.
4. The term given to a case history of someone who suffers from a rare sexual disorder resulting from their involvement in sex acts perpetrated by officials employed by the Canadian government during the late 1990's and early 2000's.
1. Your friend: Do you fantasize about Jon Stewart?
You: Sure, Jon Stewart is great. But tonight I feel the only thing that's really going to hit the spot is a little lesson in "Canada's History" (wink, wink).
2. Your friend: What did you do last night?
You: I gave my girl a bit of Canada's History she won't soon forget!
3. We were feeling especially naughty, so we talked about Canada's History all night.
4. Psychiatrist 1: I really wanted to help that poor man, but I had no choice but to tell him that our clinic could not assist him in any way.
Psychiatrist 2: Why not?
Psychiatrist 1: He was afflicted with Canada's History.
Psychiatrist: Those syrup-sucking bastards...
You: Sure, Jon Stewart is great. But tonight I feel the only thing that's really going to hit the spot is a little lesson in "Canada's History" (wink, wink).
2. Your friend: What did you do last night?
You: I gave my girl a bit of Canada's History she won't soon forget!
3. We were feeling especially naughty, so we talked about Canada's History all night.
4. Psychiatrist 1: I really wanted to help that poor man, but I had no choice but to tell him that our clinic could not assist him in any way.
Psychiatrist 2: Why not?
Psychiatrist 1: He was afflicted with Canada's History.
Psychiatrist: Those syrup-sucking bastards...
by Buzz_killington February 16, 2010
A history primarily based on what the United States could never accomplish: the right way to be a country.
U.S. dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Oh, I don't watch hockey. What with all the homo-erotic undertones- they threaten me as a person even though a gay person has never harmed me in any way, nor can I prove that the concept of homosexuality is why the world is coming to an end. Not to mention that I had that Republican rally last night where Grandma Abe blamed the Union for her broken hip. I mean really, if we were still allowed to enslave people then she wouldn't have tried to take the Jesus-head Christmas lights down by herself. Back then, all she woulda had to do was dangle some spoiled milk and bread crumbs in their faces and Tito or Red would be nothing but happy to do it."
Man 1: "I see your point. Geez, maybe if it weren't for Canada's History all those slaves wouldn't have had anywhere to flee and the Confederacy would still be in power. You can prolly even blame Canada's History for letting the gays think that they have any rights- come on, love and respect for every person of every orientation or faith is such a pipe dream."
Man 2: "Speaking of pipe dream- got any weed?"
Man 1: "Oh ya man- its the good stuff from Vancouver."
Man 2: "Sweet."
Canadian Dialogue:
Man 1: "So did you see the hockey game last night?"
Man 2: "Ya- it was good... eh?"
by canadiansabatour February 05, 2010
The act of inserting a penis into a toaster to heat thing's up in the bedroom or re-energize yourself for even more hot sex. Formerly known as the Beaver, but the term was thought to be too dirty.
I came so many times last night with my girl that I had to preform Canada's History to get myself back into the game.
by FortheColbertNation February 05, 2010
An absolutely disgustingly foul sex act including but not limited to moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup.
by attackattackwhereyouat February 05, 2010
Shoving everything you have inside everywhere you can all at once, screaming, vomiting, urinating and evacuating your bowels all at once.
by assholefactor February 05, 2010
A term referring to the past of the GREAT nation of Canada. However, some mistaken it with a sex act due to misinformation from Stephen Corbert.
by IamCanadianCheers February 05, 2010
"Canada's History" is a euphemism for an aberrant sexual ritual wherein several males clad only in bear-skin loins douse themselves in syrup and perform unspeakable sex acts upon a single unsuspecting trout. Also known as "The Maple Leaf Rag," and "The Canadian Tapioca Cod Sandwich." The practice is particularly common in isolated Canadian logging camps.
Did you hear the trout are in spawning season? What say you me and some other hosers head up to Yellowknife for some hot slippery Canada's History.
by deeznuggets65 February 05, 2010