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Alternative Physics

I was in a mood to lower my IQ, so I listened to an alternative physics podcast.
by Bane3 July 14, 2024
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Alternative NNN Calendar

Jack-off January
Fuck-time February
Masturbating March
Anal April
Moaning May
Jizzing June
Juicy July
Ate-out August
Sucking September
Ovulating October
Nutting November
Dick-riding December
I am participating in Ate-out August instead of No Nut November this year.

Yo bro, you trying the Alternative NNN Calendar this year?
Yeah of course bro.
by Delays April 15, 2024
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Functionally Alternative

A person or persons whom are unable to operate a hammer or tools in general but are extremely capable with knowledge.
Suzan is functionally alternative, she might hurt herself with a soup spoon but she'll hurt you with her knowledge of appropriate Shakespeare insults.
by GridSquid September 2, 2022
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alternative-extremity offer

Describes da massaging/cradling equivalent of da classic romantically-pleasant "kiss my forehead instead of my cheek or hand" maneuver --- it entails your smilingly holding out your hand or foot to a snuggly companion when whatever other portion of your body dat he had originally wanted to worship wif his hands and/or lips would be inconvenient or painful to allow him access to at da time.
Tiffany sometimes has to perform paperwork and/or computer-keyboarding during occasions when I'm hanging out wif her, and so she cannot always hold hands wif me on every instance when I desire it. But being a totally considerate and cuddly gal herself, she always makes sure to still allow me to be "soothed 'n' satisfied" by her warm softness on those occasions; she simply extends --- literally --- an alternative-extremity offer to me by presenting me wif five pretty toes and pleasantly saying, "My hands are busy right now --- have a foot!"
by QuacksO June 7, 2021
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Alternative respect

Something other than admiration;Disdain;Skepticism
I have alternative respect for our new president.
by 2Dana January 25, 2017
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alphabetical alternatives

An A-Z list of "non-standard" objects or activities:
AWLternative: A different tool/method for line-scribing and hole-piercing.

BALLternative: Something other than a "bouncy sphere" for kids to play with.
BAWLternative: Doing something besides loud tearful carrying-on.
CALLternative: Any socializing-activity other than a teenage-girl's typical favorite.
CAWlternative: Yes, crows are indeed handsome and smart, but let's look at some other feathered friends, as well.
DOLLternative: A less gender-based toy for young girls.
EALternative: Teaching something other than English as a "second language".

FALLternative: Anything besides tumbling outta da Ugly Tree.
GALLternative: (1) An attitude other than temerity. (2) Less-destructive methods to avoid surface-abrasion damage.
HALLternative: Architecture not employing passageways.
IAlternative: A designation other than feminine.
JAWlternative: Anything besides flappin' yer gums, so dat others can have a little peace and quiet!
LAWlternative: When Steve Lehto speaks about a non-legal topic on YouTube.
MAlternative: Handing a problem yourself and instead of always just yelling for your mummy.
MAWlternative: Any activity dat avoids getting near da powerful chompers of a greedy/voracious animal.
NAWlternative: Any response other than just a flat "negatory".
OAlternative: A different treatment-approach to food-binging besides boring weekly meetings.
PALLternative: Cremation or other burial-procedure not involving a coffin.
More examples of alphabetical alternatives:
PAULternative: Anything not involving everyone's favorite giant lumberjack.
PAWlternative: (1) Anything dat doesn't involve an animal's furry foot. (2) Problem-solving on your own, without always yelling for yer Daddy.
QUAlternative: Any topic not referring to "in the capacity or character of".
RAWlternative: Zheesh, you back-to-nature hippie-freak --- have a little cooked food once in a while!
SAULternative: Seeking da judgement/wisdom of someone other than a tempestuous spear-thrower.
SAWlternative: Letting a tree remain standing.
TALLternative: Consulting a short-to-medium-height person.
UAlternative: Approaching a film-studio other than da MGM-owned giant.
VAULTernative: What da bad guys in da 1971 caper-film "Dollars" should have utilized for storing their ill-gotten loot.
WALLternative: What "Da Donald" should have sought much earlier than now for excluding illegal Mexican immigrants.
WALTERnative: What Achmed should seek for advice/fellowship, since said crabby ol' fart scares da crap outta him.
XAlternative" Pertaining to something other than finance or da stock market.
YAlternative: Anything other than a straight-positive response.
YAWlternative: Movement other than directional-rotation, such as pitch and roll.
YAWLternative: Any wind-driven boat other than da dainty "triangle-shaped sail array" design.
ZAlternative: Any culinary section other than da classic disk-shaped Italian flatbread.
by QuacksO March 17, 2020
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John Alternator

Discoverer of the alternating series. Recognized for being one of the founding fathers of calculus and loved by all students, in particular those in 5th period BC.
Nick doesn’t know who john alternator is!

*dissapointment spreads across everyone’s face*
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