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Jesus H. Christ

An exclamatory statement made to show intense emotion. The "H" stands for Helen, which is Jesus' middle name.
"I just wanna lather myself up with heavy whipping cream and roll around the kitchen"
"Jesus H. Christ, please stop talking right now. Also, the H in that sentence stood for Helen."
"Okay.
by HAMonWRY June 15, 2019
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Jesus H. Christ

The name of our lord and savior, Jesus Henry Christ.
by Nunyabizppq December 6, 2019
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Jesus H. Christ

the name of te guy who made me emo and gave me the gay.
A: Do you know what the 'H.' is Jesus H. Christ means?

A: That's right. It stands for hottie. Jesus Hottie Christ

The following evening, A was beaten up
by urdad.com December 5, 2021
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Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ

(exclamation): An alternative form of the phrase "Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ," often used in response to intense anger, surprise, or joy by those who are more scientifically-oriented. Also used by those who have made the observation that tits are no more than blobs of fat on a woman's chest, and there's really no reason why men should be attracted to them.
"Jesus Lumps-of-Fat-Fucking Christ Batman!" Robin exclaimed in exalting joy. "I believe the phrase is 'Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ,' and there's no reason for you to be yelling random expletives in the batcave--you remember what I said about using the Lord's name in vain" Batman wryly replied, a small smirk slowly sliding up his weathered cheeks. "Oh please, Batman," Robin replied, "that's so vulgar of you--we both know that 'titty' is such a silly word. And besides, what purpose is there in having sex with two lumps of fat? Shouldn't we just be honest about it? It's absurd." Robin stated very matter-of-factly. "Alright," Batman replied, "just don't come crying to me with your tightpants pulled clear up your ass when you go asking some girl if you can touch her lumps of fat."
by Jesus Tits December 12, 2008
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Jesus H. Christ

A satirical phrase of surprise or angst used instead of Jesus Christ.
Person 1: Jesus H. Christ!

Person 2: ...what does the H stand for?

Person 1: Hussein!
by floridaBoy February 27, 2009
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jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch

a term used to describe something shocking, or so dumfounded and stupid.
Staff sergeant: jesus h. christ on a tin fucking crutch!, carl what the fucking hell have you done?!

specialist Carl: exactly what you told me to do sergeant I burn the shitter.

Staff sergeant: jesus christ, carl do as I mean not as I say!!
by Sparttjbkibweq23SsChief June 15, 2017
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Jesus. H Christ

Jesus. H Christ, I didn't know that she was my 15-year-old daughter

*Sweet home Alabama starts playing*

That is how mafia works.
by joeweller53 January 20, 2019
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