Flat Schooler

A play on flat earther, analogous to science and evidence denier. Despite ample evidence suggesting that schools, with proper measures in place, are relatively safe spaces for children and teachers to be, the flat schooler will have a finger in their ears. With a dangerously myopic worldview, inability to comprehend nuance, and a relatively low-ish IQ (under 110, though not always), they'll insist that schools are currently "germ factories" and that children are "plague rats". When one points out that the risks of closing schools outweigh the rewards, they just might call you selfish or a sociopath. This is projection.

This variation of idiot will often be found parroting phrases such as "trust the experts" and "trust the science". Except of course, the experts and scientists who say transmission in schools is low. Including Dr. Fauci, Unicef, CDC, and more.

Flat Schooler: "Trust the experts!"
Rational person: "Including when they say transmission is low within schools, and that schools are safe?"
Flat Schooler: (cognitive dissonance activated) "They're just covering up unsafe schools!"
Rational person: *eye roll* "You're such a flat schooler"

by dodia April 9, 2021

flat porn

Flat porn is visual pornography that is flat in nature, like a regular static image (think Tumbler or old school photos). It is not available in a 3D, interactive, or virtual (think Occulus) way.

My husband is not allowed to watch virtual porn, flat porn is fine because there is no depth or interaction with it!

by Sunshyne January 22, 2019

Flat Brimmer

Someone that's into "extreme" sports such as down hill mtn. biking, BMX, motocross or anything that you can get "rad" with. A flat brimmer will wear a ball cap with a flat brim with Oakley sunglasses and can usually be seen drinking a Monster Energy drink. A flat brimmer will think he or she is better than the rest and loves to pose for photographs.

Did you see that flat brimmer with the Fox jersey acting like a douche to those other riders?

by Surlybob March 16, 2015

Flat Earther

Someone who is dumb as fuck.

Guy 1: I’m a flat earther
Guy 2: bro you dumb as fuck

by dabigmothafucka July 14, 2023

flat dope

Use in place of "the shit". Invented May 22,2007 Cambridge, USA

Michael: Holy shit look at those Aero effect on Windows Vista! Oh my god if she was a chick I swear.
Andrew: Dude that's flat dope man.

"Dude that ride is flat dope"

by QDub935 June 10, 2007

Flat-Earthing

When someone makes an arguement about something very stupid but no matter how hard someone proves them wrong, they make even dumber counter arguements over and over until the person gives up trying to prove them wrong. However, they know they're wrong and they're just fucking with him/her. Originated by flat earth believers

Guy 1-Dont smoke weed it's bad for you.
Dumb Boi-bruh weed cures cancer.
Guy 1- But studies show weed causes cancer.
Dumb Boi- But weed is a natural herb. How can nature be bad?
Guy 1-So is tobacco and that cau...
Guy 2 cutting of Guy 1-Hes in med school my guy hes just Flat-Earthing you.

by BigWumboy March 26, 2019

Fix a Flat

term used to describe a fake butt. i.e. chick used to have a FLAT ass but then went to get work done to FIX it.
Commonly used is the phrase "Fix-A-Flat, bathroom caulk & cement OR cornbread, grits & blessed?" Which is said to another male admiring the same donkey booty asking him if he thinks the ass is fake or real.

Tyrone: Yo check out that phat ass over there..."Fix A Flat, bathroom caulk & cement OR cornbread, grits & blessed?"
Shawn: look at that shit, shit it definitely fake

by bigman2011 April 19, 2012