The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

A cult-like religion referenced as the main sect of Mormonism. Known for their rules and regulations and underlying homophobic and transphobic behavior.

Person 1: I'm fromThe Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Person 2: Sorry to hear that.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by JustTellingTheTruthHere June 13, 2019

Beat your Jesus 

a common masturbation term used in the christian world when priests get mad at the altar servers for being bad little boys.fluff your garfield

Let me lick your leg!!! DAMNIT!! GO BEAT YOUR JESUS!!! *wispers to self* fucking incoherent boys

Beat your Jesus by 315 & T-Dog! March 27, 2003

Josh Unglesby Jesus 

Josh Jesus is the biggest man whore alive but you have to love him.
He is so sweet and nice and hot in such an odd way.
When I see him I get lost in his eyes and I regret the fact that I ever doubted
the person he is.
He is the most amazing guy, any girl would be lucky to have him.
He is also a huge asshole, but he is Jesus.
I hate the fact that I'm still so in love with you.
You deserve to be happy no matter what.

Josh Unglesby Jesus I am in love with you and I don't know why!

Josh Unglesby Jesus by FranklinFalconsFTW March 29, 2009

Who would Jesus bomb? 

An ungrammatical slogan occasionally appearing on the t-shirts or bumper stickers of those who can't handle concepts too big to fit on t-shirts or bumper stickers.

The correct form is "Whom would Jesus have bombed?"; since Jesus was a first-century Jewish nationalist, the most likely answer is, "The Roman Empire."

"Who would Jesus bomb?" was undoubtedly inspired by "What would Jesus do?", a question best answered by "We'll never know. Jesus wouldn't have gotten himself into the mess you're in."

You really look sharp in that 'Who would Jesus bomb?' t-shirt -- NOT!

Who would Jesus bomb? by Gahmuret June 29, 2006

Sleeping Jesus 

1. Inexpensive drug popular with youth consisting predominantly of acetaminophen (common pain reliever sold under the trade name Tylenol) and diphenhydramine (common antihistamine and sleep aid sold under the trade name Benadryl), but also containing a small amount (2-7%) of black tar heroin. Also known as cheese.

2. Individual either not paying attention to what they're doing or moving very slowly in performing some action.

1. "Hey man, try a hit of this Sleeping Jesus."

2. "I'd be there already if only sleeping Jesus here would stop driving 5 miles per hour and get going!"

Sleeping Jesus by Consiglieri July 20, 2008

sweet chocolate jesus

An act committed during sex when a man will pull his cock out of the ass of the partner, turn them around so that they are kneeling, facing him, then dab the face with poo lightly three times saying "Father, Son and the holy ghost" followed by a hard cock slap to knock the rest of the shit off.

He annointed her with a Sweet chocolate jesus and thus purged himself of the sin of feces.

sweet chocolate jesus by Ultimate Joe July 29, 2006

creeping jesus

someone who drives slow

"that amateur driver in the nissan sentra is such a creeping jesus; she's drivin like 5 miles a hour"

creeping jesus by Big Brown May 21, 2007