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Jesus

The bible was such a funny not real book, my favourite character was Jesus
by Sam lampost May 4, 2022
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Making Jesus cry

To masturbate
Comes from Christian parents telling their kids “Every time you masturbate, Jesus cries”
Jesus is interchangeable with Hod in this context
An example of “making Jesus cry”
Friend 1:Did you get laid last night?
Friend 2: No, I was so horny I had to make Jesus cry
Friend 1: Gross, tmi
by Comic Sanders May 31, 2019
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jesus pur

1. A person who loves to PK in the game of Runescape. | 2. Having a full friends list. | 3. #kool ftw. | 4. Someone who loves to play Zelda. | 5. To know where your front door is.
Guy 1 "Wow! He has been playing Ocarina of Time all day!" Guy 2 "Yea, hes such a jesus pur."
by Turglow June 23, 2010
mugGet the jesus purmug.

jesus rips

The rips you get from what you thought was a dead cartridge or disposable vape after they have been sitting around for a while.
I had about 10 empty carts in my drawer and got lucky with some Jesus rips and got baked.”
by Big egg unit April 8, 2021
mugGet the jesus ripsmug.

Jesus Christ

(To the developers: this is part one)

1) First I will prove God exists. For the sake of the argument, I will be using science. According to the principle of the conservation of energy, energy remains constant and cannot be destroyed or created. This means that there is effectively zero chance of the universe existing in the first place because, before the Big Bang, there was nothing. In other words, for the universe to be created, someone must have created the energy possible for its creation. Also, that same someone has to be above physical laws, because as per the principle of conservation of energy, energy can't be created. This means that there has to be a God because the universe started from nothing, when no energy existed and the person who made the universe must also be very powerful, considering he is above the laws that transcend the universe. Also, Mendel's law of inheritance completes my point, as it explains why certain characteristics are passed down from generation to generation. Put simply, the ascendant takes after the descendant. Therefore, if we know there is a creator, then that creator must resemble its creation. Science says the universe is infinite, so the creator must also be infinite. The universe entails terrifying powers like black holes, so the creator must also be all-powerful. With the keywords infinite and all-powerful, we have described God.
Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life
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trappedout jesus

One who is hated by everyone once they have met him, but because of his humble demeanor and fights ass kickings all tend to find themselves loving him. He is also known for fucking all the dirtlegs and other women throughout the traphouses. Men envy him and women crave him...
You see that nigga trappedout Jesus? He just pulled both them bitches off to his room and dude didn't even care it was his girl and sister.
by trappedout jesus September 8, 2021
mugGet the trappedout jesusmug.

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