cave jerk

when one masturbates with his/her arm under one leg whilst making caveman noises

*knock knock*
"What's all that strange grunting?"

"wtf?!? I'm cave jerking in here!"

by ohmschode January 12, 2009

Mid-Jerk

A scenario when, as you're in the process of masturbating to porn, your friend texts you and the text pops up at the top of your viewing screen blocking some of the action.

Jerry: (Masturbating to porn)

Friend texts: yo could I borrow your notes from class? I was absent today.

Jerry: Dude you caught me mid-jerk.

by serd12 June 18, 2018

jerking a turd

Jerk•ing•a•turd jerk-in-uh-turd

-adjective
1. Speculative term used to refer to someone's tardiness or absence.

2. late; absent; missing.

Question: "Where's the groom?"
Answer: "I don't know. He’s probably jerking a turd."

The ceremony starts at 3:00 PM sharp. You better be there - don’t be jerkin’ a turd.

by CongratulationsDave&Chrissy! August 29, 2010

jerk punch

signature move of naweed. punching som1 in a downward jerking motion making sure the knuckles hit first causing extreme pain and usually a dead arm, called the jerk punch because of the jerking off motion of the downward punch

OMFG naweed jerk punched me and i cant fucking feel my arm omg wtf

by weedsterandzach November 12, 2010

Hot jerk

Verb: After one returns from being outside in the cold, one then proceeds to run their hands under scalding hot water, and then begins to masturbate

Dude, after I shoveled the snow I rewarded myself with a hot jerk

by Zacharees73 February 10, 2015

emergency jerk

You had no privacy for several days and no chance to jerk off. Your balls are so sore that you cannot think straight. You jerk off the first chance you get just to relieve the tension.

I was on vacation and could not jerk off for more than a week. I was so sore that sleeping was impossible. I sneaked my way into the bathroom for an emergency jerk.

by Restoring for over five years February 16, 2015

Jerk o'lantern

A pumpkin that is used as a sex toy. It has a large hole on the top (similar to a normal jack o'lantern), as well as a smaller hole carved into the side, just wide enough to put your dick through. Then someone can stick their hand through the top of the pumpkin and jerk you off.

Benny: I haven’t had sex in almost a week, this is so annoying!
Jeff: Huh? Aren’t you still dating Ellie?
Benny: She's on her period right now. Yesterday I made a jerk o'lantern and Ellie gave me a handjob in it. How sad is that?

by AP Everything October 22, 2019