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Jesus seats

When you have tickets to a game in the nosebleeds, but they're really far from the court/field high up in the stadium, which is why they're called Jesus seats since you're so high up you can see Jesus.
Guy 1: I got tickets to the game!

Guy 2: Where are they? They better not be Jesus seats.
by It's that dude June 13, 2020
mugGet the Jesus seatsmug.

Toenitheu Jesus

Toenitheu Jesus( toe-nith-u-penis) is a alpha wolf man who has a alter ego, AKA Tony. He uses this alter ego to hide the fact that he is a hot sexy beast who gives toe jobs toe random squirrels on the sidewalk. although at first glance he may seem like a mega boner doner hottie who pulls all the elderly men, he does have a secret soft spot. His weakness is right between his big juicy ass cheeks. Tonypoo loves his “Daddychipmunk” who basically is this mega sextron squirrel who carries all around his acorns and nuts and such and sticks them in peoples butthole. Toenitheu is a big fan of this ritual. Tony chooses solely to wear spandex to everywhere he goes to put his 282728293837372992283737282737363 kilometer slong on display because he’s a little whore with a degrading kink. heard he wore fortnite spandex with his blazer at his baptism and the pastor got a boner. All in all Tony is a soft core hottie guy and all the other guys hate him and wanna be him cuz they’re jealous.
“yo did you see that video of Toenitheu Jesus that super hot sexy man sucking some squirrels nuts?”

“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
by penisloverxoxo26 November 22, 2021
mugGet the Toenitheu Jesusmug.

Modern Jesus

Modern Jesus is a term used for someone who criticizes every thing someone does and thinks that everything they do is perfect.
Person 1: Are you serious you shouldn't smoke it's bad for your lungs.

Person 2: Stfu modern Jesus!
by Pennella August 14, 2017
mugGet the Modern Jesusmug.

Jesus Boner

Holy sh*t you have a jesus boner
by trooperclonerex September 12, 2018
mugGet the Jesus Bonermug.

semi-jesus

Some random from an IRC channel. Doesn't realise that this site was so last year :)
by Anonymous July 7, 2003
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Jesus Christ

(To the developers: please let this be accepted, as I will explain why God exists and why Christianity is the true religion. I am not trying to offend anyone or impose my beliefs, as I want to share the message and hopefully change people's lives.)(Also, for anyone wondering I mainly used Wikipedia to prove my points but the site doesn't allow hyperlinks so I am sorry but you might have to do some searching. You can search Historical evidence of Jesus, Religious Views on Jesus, Christianity, and Buddhism, Conservation of energy, and Law of Inheritance)

Definition: Jesus is the son in the holy trinity of the Christian religion. He is also god, in the form of man, who died for our sins and offers us eternal life. Jesus is probably one of the world's most popular personalities, and he 100% loves you and wants you to come back to him. A lot of people say Jesus doesn't exist, even though there is historical evidence that he existed and died on the cross. However, the main crux of the problem is that a lot of people don't even believe god exists. This is what this post will do. I will prove both Jesus and God exist.

Also, I have to say that because I surpassed the maximum amount of characters, this is going to be a two-part post, so devs please let them pass as then the post will not be complete.
Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and the life
mugGet the Jesus Christmug.

SPA Jesus

A cool dude on YouTube who does anime reviews. And has a tiktok called SPA jesus69.
by SPA jesus September 19, 2021
mugGet the SPA Jesusmug.

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