Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Jesus Tits

It’s meaning is also the same as Holy Shit, holy cow, damn it, fuck a duck, shit, fuck, etc. You can use Jesus Tits instead of any curse word. Created by Archie Sowell

Jesus Tits! That’s a nice truck!

Jesus Tits! You’re an idiot!
Jesus Tits! I stubbed my toe!

by Arch1980 December 26, 2020

Jesus

It seems more believable as an alternate possibilty that Jesus was a black kid Mary adopted than Mary giving birth to Jesus as a virgin. If nobody got Mary pregnant, Jesus wasn't her kid, no way.

Jesus could have looked like anyone if he was a real person and not a myth.

by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021

Sent to jesus

1. A joke punishment to counter someone about to do something stupid
2. A genuine response from someone who thinks an individual needs to seek the lord for purity and innocence for what they did

1. I swear if you hit me one more time I will send you to Jesus, up in the clouds out of this world
2.Bro you need to get sent to Jesus why are you so dirty minded?

by Mastergod676 August 27, 2022

Double fist me the Jesus

Coffee. And lots of it. Originally used because someone was having two iced coffees

Im having a stressful day. Double fist me the Jesus!

by PKlady March 24, 2023

Jesus

It’s a boy that lives in Reno everyone knows him as big dick boy. He splits immortals with his 3 ft cock

Me:do yk Jesus?

Someone:big dick boy?

by Yourboyskinnypenis775 August 20, 2021

Hardbass Jesus

Alan Aztec is the Gopnik DJ also known as Hardbass Jesus, he was born in Russia, and is coming to you and USA.

"You dont come to russia
Russia come to you
When Russian man says follow me
Do as HardBass Jesus do

Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to USA"

by Voltron132 January 24, 2022