Jesus

What my manager calls the church a few minutes up the road from my house

My manager when he drops me home: "I am going to take you to Jesus!"

by Jack Spank9049 January 7, 2023

Jesus

A guy named Jesus has many talents and is really good at being a dick when needed. But if you leave him alone, he can be a great friend, partner and lover. But the moment you push his buttons he’ll give you hell.

Someone-Why haven’t you done this?

Jesus- bitch mind your own business.

by Sausage! My ass!. November 23, 2021

April Jesus

Is typically any hot girl that colours her hair different primary colours on a regular weekly basis and struts around with a beautiful figure. She's the type of girl who isn't afraid to take photos in alleys in your downtown districts while in the rain. Hence April as in April showers and her beautiful figure is where Jesus' miracle of giving beauty comes in. Hence April Jesus.

Hey, check out April Jesus over there. Woot woot!

Look at those April Jesus' (used when seeing a big group of hot girls with primary hair colour)
Dam, she's an ugly April Jesus. (used when you see an ugly girl with a primary hair colour. so.. an April Jesus reject or a weeaboo)
Hey, I just saw April Jesus walking in the park.
Fuck you April Jesus! (used when upset with an April Jesus)

by lilacgirl97 May 26, 2022

Luke Jesus

A man who has people around him constantly saying he has a massive penis, whether he does or not.

Awesome Lesbian: You see that Blue Yeti microphone? Yeah that's the size of Luke Jesus penis.

by thebsb July 26, 2020

Jesus

Jesus is our savior and our God. He loves us God

Guy one: hey man are you going to church

Guy two: why what do you do there
Guy one: learn about Jesus

Guy two: oh okay sounds good I’m in

by Rose1320 March 14, 2022

Jesus

Homo walking hairy pig.
Likes ducks and is covered in pimples

The pig eats jesus is the same as saying jesus eats the jesus or jesus eats the pig or the pig eats the pig. All same meaning m8

by Showi April 19, 2018

jesus serpent

when a serpent is as hot as jug head and as daddy material as FP with the hot as hell persona of toni

"NO MOM Kanye West is a jesus serpent not bill cosby" or also

"damn i'd like to smash that jesus serpant of a man they call jimmy fallon"

by kindofanicon June 12, 2018