Jesus

the central figure of the gayest and dumbest man-made religion ever (aka Christianity). he is also the 1/3 of a dumb concept which makes no sense (the Holy Trinity, 3 in 1 shampoo). he gets more recognition than God Himself, his creator (really dumb innit). The most brainwashed people on earth (aka christians) have chosen to worship him, even though Jesus has never told anyone to do so. The only people who follow his teachings correctly are the Muslims.

"Please don't worship Jesus, he's just a prophet, not a god, nor part of a trinity."

by ISLAMisTHEtruth November 9, 2024

Double fist me the Jesus

Coffee. And lots of it. Originally used because someone was having two iced coffees

Im having a stressful day. Double fist me the Jesus!

by PKlady March 24, 2023

Hardbass Jesus

Alan Aztec is the Gopnik DJ also known as Hardbass Jesus, he was born in Russia, and is coming to you and USA.

"You dont come to russia
Russia come to you
When Russian man says follow me
Do as HardBass Jesus do

Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to USA"

by Voltron132 January 24, 2022

Jesus

fake

jesus is fake

by fordashy is gay December 17, 2022

testing my Jesus

When someone gets on your nerves, and your anger disproportionate to the situation at times, is testing your Jesus.

If my boss doesn't understand the company policy that he wrote, well, he's just really testing my Jesus.

by Siouxise Eileen November 30, 2023

Jesus

a carpenter that was praised for some reason from around the 20-30 AD

person 1 "you heard of jesus"
person 2 "the carpenter?"
person 1 "lol wut?"

by I understand logic March 15, 2021

Jesus

either capital God as the son of man, or a historical figure that was a good man

Jesus had succeeded in saving our souls but he had failed in staying alive due to his many haters, even as a powerful figure he could not survive

by nonekopopo February 17, 2023