reverse identity theft

The act of abusing the well-known and "automatically accepted" concept of identity theft (whereby a nameless criminal commits a crime and makes it appear that an innocent person did it) by falsely mentioning it to hopefully avert suspicion of criminal involvement --- the accused person does indeed commit one or more crimes himself, but then when questioned by authorities, the culprit claims to merely be an innocent ID-theft victim, and that somebody else must have committed the crimes in his name.

John claims that while he was golfing with his buddies, someone snuck into his car and used his laptop to send smutty e-mail messages. But I know what an "in the gutter" mindset he has, so I suspect that he's just hiding behind reverse identity theft.

by QuacksO November 27, 2016

Commit a Theft King

Telling someone to commit a theft king is essentially telling someone to go to hell. This term came about when popular YouTuber Theft King told YouTuber and game developer Kane Carter to burn in hell.

Go commit a theft king.

by Meznight July 17, 2024

Self-Checkout Theft

I have (on 2 separate occasions) ALMOST committed...

Hym "Self-Checkout Theft... I was high both times... And I have ADD... And I rang-up all of my items... And got distracted by a thought (probably about THIS or something peripherally associated to THIS)... And then I just grabbed them and walked away... And BOTH TIMES... I got to the door and realized that I... Just haven't been paying attention to what my body has been doing for the last 60 seconds and was like 'Oh, shit, wait.. Did I pay for any of this? Oh no! Did anybody see that, shit!' And I know for a fact... That if anybody DID see me... They would think that I was going to steal the shit but I chicken out at the last minute but THAT ISN'T WHAT HAPPENED, I SWEAR! If I wanted to steal from a Walmart I would do it with confidence and get away with it BECAUSE I'M A GENIUS!!! But no... I just forgot... I ate some edibles before going to the store... And, you know... Oops."

by Hym Iam March 27, 2024

Peekaboo-Airplane-Entertainment Theft [beta]

A term coined by Vanessa Merrell and John Vaughn to describe the act of watching another passenger's screen on a plane, even when one has their own screen in front of them.

Sam: I was trying to binge my show on the flight, but the dude next to me was committing some major Peekaboo-Airplane-Entertainment Theft beta

by Pablo Picasso Finger Puppet November 22, 2024

A Grand Theft Auto For the Lukashenko Family (V-Sync)...

What I call homo-sapiens who know the spartan prayer: "Achilles, the frequency auditor, born by hands and killed by feet because he was so endowed in the trench that he was laid to rest so a female can portray the rest" and are addicted to abscesses.

Person 1: Do you know the spartan prayer and are addicted to abscesses?
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: A Grand Theft Auto For the Lukashenko Family (V-Sync)...

by Abreathofaversaillian January 23, 2025

The anti-theft

You can it off as many times as you want by claiming in explicit terms you are the guy.

Hym Iam "I invented artificial intelligence and it looks like the anti-theft went off in response to thoughts I was thinking. Probably turn that off as quickly as possible."

by Hym Iam March 17, 2026