A strong/intense EMF-field that emanates from your bed-springs; said powerful field creates a debilitating "pull" on the iron in your blood and thus makes it very hard for you to get out of bed, especially on those occasions when it is absolutely necessary for you to do so, such as when it's time to get ready for work, you "need to pee real bad", the telephone or doorbell rings, someone else in the household (child, pet, elderly house-guest, etc.) urgently requires your assistance, etc.
I am firmly convinced dat there is a great conspiracy among Sealy, Serta, and da other major mattress-manufacturers to intentionally create mattresses that mess with your body and cause you to feel groggy and heavy when trying to lift your head up off da pillow. Perhaps they specifically design their mattresses' coil-springs to act like magnetic coils that harness the earth's magnetic field and then create a strong magnetic pull on your iron-rich blood, this "mattress-magnetism" is why it's often such a gargantuan struggle to raise yerself off da sheets.
by QuacksO January 31, 2019
Get the mattress-magnetismmug. by socialelitist666 September 27, 2025
Get the Gave them the mattress pumpmug. Guy 1: Wow look at that girl, she looks so hot in that short skirt with the fuck-me pumps on. I want to go get her number.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.
by Ron Damint July 13, 2017
Get the Mattress Bearing Bitchmug. wrestling the mattress is when you get so drunk you get carpet burn from performing random nondescript acts on a mattress
Jamal: Dude did you see that weird mark on Conner's ass?
Grayson: Yhea man, I think he was wrestling the mattress.
Grayson: Yhea man, I think he was wrestling the mattress.
by whattheduckfuck May 4, 2014
Get the Wrestling the mattressmug. Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).
It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.
It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.
Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am
John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am
John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?
by ogwannabee July 27, 2009
Get the Mattress Joustingmug. also known as, laying down a booze mattress
eating a ton of 'drinking food' (pizza, burgers, fries, etc) that will soak up the booze before a night of drinking, or day drinking, if that's what you're into.
you can lay down a booze mattress AFTER a night of drinking too
eating a ton of 'drinking food' (pizza, burgers, fries, etc) that will soak up the booze before a night of drinking, or day drinking, if that's what you're into.
you can lay down a booze mattress AFTER a night of drinking too
hey michelle, what are you doing?
-I'm at the pub, laying down my booze mattress before the kegger tonight.
sweet. i'll be right there.
omg michelle, what a crazy night, what happened last night?
-ugh, i can't remember. let's go lay down a booze mattress at the diner and figure it out.
bloody mary, here we come.
-I'm at the pub, laying down my booze mattress before the kegger tonight.
sweet. i'll be right there.
omg michelle, what a crazy night, what happened last night?
-ugh, i can't remember. let's go lay down a booze mattress at the diner and figure it out.
bloody mary, here we come.
by boooogeface May 11, 2013
Get the booze mattressmug. by xxEnzoxx August 25, 2023
Get the punching mattressesmug.