A sex act so depraved, that it could not be described in detail on cable television. It involves moose antlers, a jug of maple syrup, and the Stanley Cup. It is widely held that the moose antlers are used to sodomize two males simultaneously while they jerk off using maple syrup as lube, and both cum into the Stanley Cup. It is at this time that a third party will drink the semen from the Stanley Cup and gurgle the words: Canada's History. This act was originally created and performed by Steven Colbert of the Colbert Report.
Man, that party was crazy. That part with the Canada's history totally blew my mind, and ruined the party completely. That Steven Colbert guy is sick.
by The Report February 05, 2010
A crazy sex act that cannot be spoken of on tv involving moose antlers, maple syrup, and the Stanly Cup.
by colbertfan813 February 05, 2010
"How did it go last night?"
"Oh, it was Canada's History. Not really down with that, you know... But I guess it's cultural."
"Oh, it was Canada's History. Not really down with that, you know... But I guess it's cultural."
by soph646 February 05, 2010
To fully understand Canada's History, one must have had sexual relationship with a direct descendant of Canada's Historians. Requirements:Two Straight or Gay women (1 Relative),1 Straight Male with min 10" penis,6 Midgets,1 9" Cactus,1 wild animal's head(Moose Preferred) filled with Maple Syrup, A Canoe or a Raft.
Load everything into the raft and down a shallow river where one can expect many Rapids.5 midgets must steer the raft into rapids while the 6th, without using his tiny arms, must completely undress the two maidens.At which point you pour the maple syrup from the Wild Animal's Head onto the ladies making sure that every inch is amply covered.Upon reaching the rapids get the ladies into a 69 position and the midget must rapidly put the cactus in and out a lady's asshole from one end. This when coupled with the maple syrup and the uneven rapids is painfully reminiscent of the Intercolonial Wars that erupted between 1689 and 1763, ultimately culminating in a blood filled orgasm strangely signifying the Birth of Quebec.On the other end your goal is to take your10inches and in a swift motion must pistol whip all the 5 midgets steering the raft and finally enter the woman on the other side. Now repeat this process 12 times to ultimately have a raft shaking orgasm filling the woman with a your manseed. Thi surprisingly guarantees that the offspring will be a female and thereby ensuring that Canada's History is carried on forward for years to come.
Load everything into the raft and down a shallow river where one can expect many Rapids.5 midgets must steer the raft into rapids while the 6th, without using his tiny arms, must completely undress the two maidens.At which point you pour the maple syrup from the Wild Animal's Head onto the ladies making sure that every inch is amply covered.Upon reaching the rapids get the ladies into a 69 position and the midget must rapidly put the cactus in and out a lady's asshole from one end. This when coupled with the maple syrup and the uneven rapids is painfully reminiscent of the Intercolonial Wars that erupted between 1689 and 1763, ultimately culminating in a blood filled orgasm strangely signifying the Birth of Quebec.On the other end your goal is to take your10inches and in a swift motion must pistol whip all the 5 midgets steering the raft and finally enter the woman on the other side. Now repeat this process 12 times to ultimately have a raft shaking orgasm filling the woman with a your manseed. Thi surprisingly guarantees that the offspring will be a female and thereby ensuring that Canada's History is carried on forward for years to come.
Now over the years, Canada's History has been modified to include easily identifiable objects such as the Stanley Cups to replace the wild animal's head and less painful items such as antlers to replace cactus.
A fair warning that Canada's History is not suitable for Lumber Jacks, Pregnant women, Male Homosexuals, People suffering from Lollypopguildophobia and of course East Asians.
A fair warning that Canada's History is not suitable for Lumber Jacks, Pregnant women, Male Homosexuals, People suffering from Lollypopguildophobia and of course East Asians.
by ColbertFan_DXB February 06, 2010
Successfully executing a rodeo rider after whispering into the girl's ear that you are from Canada. However, for a true Canada's history, one must substitute a penis for a moose antler, use maple syrup for lubrication and, most importantly, hoist the Stanley Cup up in the air after completion, yelling: "For Canada!"
"Dude, I stole the Stanley Cup so I could pull a Canada's History on your sister. I told her I was Canadian and she still let the antler stay in for like 10 seconds!"
by doo1442 February 05, 2010
the most gruesome sex act in the kama sutra that usually involves maple syrup, at least one moose, a duck, the stanley cup, and as many beavers as you'd like. This sex position is less popular than most others mainly because it is stickier than most, but is still gaining popularity in certain regions.
by colberttoldmeto17 February 05, 2010
previously known as the beaver, and recently brought to light by conservative comic Stephen Colbert from a recent trip with our winter olympic team to Canada;
canadian history is a sexual act performed by two mounties, a civilian with the use of a moose, a stanley cup , maple syrup, and a beaver. In this act a mounty preferably a male is sodomized by a the moose while the other one cuddles on the floor with the stanley cup while performing felacio on the civilian who had already trapped the beaver in his anus. This sexual act is all made possible due to the extent use of maple syrup as a form of lubricant.
canadian history is a sexual act performed by two mounties, a civilian with the use of a moose, a stanley cup , maple syrup, and a beaver. In this act a mounty preferably a male is sodomized by a the moose while the other one cuddles on the floor with the stanley cup while performing felacio on the civilian who had already trapped the beaver in his anus. This sexual act is all made possible due to the extent use of maple syrup as a form of lubricant.
for example: Talk show host stephen colbert recently gained a wide knowledge of "canadian history" from his recent trip up north this winter.
slogans: canada where a moose can get loose!
where mounties would mount you!
and my favorite
canada, where stephen colbert stuck a beaver in his derriere!
slogans: canada where a moose can get loose!
where mounties would mount you!
and my favorite
canada, where stephen colbert stuck a beaver in his derriere!
by negprop February 07, 2010