Jesus Christ

A men who has witnessed a lot incidents

He crossed right when a car was coming…
YOU: Jesus Christ!

by Professional Complainer May 21, 2023

Jesus

biggest liar ever, will break your heart, bad-looking, acts sweet, is actually a bitch.

Jesus is a big lying bitch.

by culurful October 16, 2021

Jesus

A guy the church has made look like a superhero to sell people their agenda. What if Jesus was a short fat guy who had dark, curly, bushy hair and olive skin? A guy that looked more like what people think Friar tuck would look like than what Robin hood would look like, except a little bit more Mediterranean on the surface.

There are fair skinned European looking Jews now, after thousands of years of living in Europe, but back in the time of Jesus, a Jew from a part of Asia bordering the Mediterranean was unlikely to look like what the Church described him as, if he was ever a real person and not a myth.

by Solid Mantis March 5, 2021

Jesus Boob Cult

The Jesus Boob Cult is a place where fags share trauma and a love of phoebe Bridgers while drinking Jesus’s period blood and eating his boobs. The JBC is very selective of its members and will only allow the gayest of the fags and the gayest of the straights to participate in its rituals.

Person one: are you in the Jesus Boob Cult????
Person two: yes but I’m not supposed to tell anyone
Person one: WHAT how did you get accepted, I’ve been trying to get in for months!

by JBC is life September 24, 2021

jesus chrust

1. A misspelling of Jesus Christ
2. A man who died for your crust

"You going to church today?" "Nah, I'm going to chirch." "What's that?" "It's where you can go and worship our lord and savior Jesus Chrust." "Go fuck yourself."

by Communistically-Delicious May 3, 2018

Jesus Christ the Nazarene

God in the flesh.

person 1: hey have you heard of Jesus Christ the Nazarene
person 2: why of course he's God in the flesh!

by IFuckingHateEve December 4, 2023

Raptor Jesus

Dinobot from the 1996 cartoon Beast Wars, known for giving his life to save early human ancestors in eighth episode of the second season; “Code of Hero.”

"Tell Raptor Jesus’ tale to those who ask. Tell it truly, the ill deeds along with the good, and let him be judged accordingly. The rest is silence."

by thegoddamnsiege January 2, 2021