Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.

"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ

by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023

Jesus

Son of God, loves endlessly, died for our sins. always forgiving.
john 3:16

“i’m sorry for being such a jerk.”
“it’s ok, i forgive you and Jesus does too.”

by lovedbytheSonofGod October 1, 2022

Jetway Jesus

A mythical figure colloquially known in the airline industry believed to miraculously 'heal' passengers who request wheelchairs or any other form of mobility assistance at their point of departure but mysteriously no longer need it upon their arrival. The sudden recovery is often attributed to the miraculous intervention of 'Jetway Jesus'. The term reflects the cynical humor often employed by airline employees due to the perceived misuse of accessibility services by able-bodied passengers.

After helping a passenger in a wheelchair onto the plane, I was surprised to see her walk off unassisted at the destination. Looks like we've had another visit from Jetway Jesus.

by HappyCleaner82 November 21, 2023

Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.

"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"

by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024

Jesus

Our savior

Jesus is our savior!
In God we trust.

by MunchbunchLunch March 14, 2023

Orange Jesus Christ

Orange Jesus Christ is an expletive interjection that refers to the Christian religious figure of Jesus Christ and Donald Trump combined. It is typically uttered in anger, surprise, or frustration; although often with humorous intent. It should be used when the more common expletive, Jesus Christ, is just not sufficient to explain the outrageousness of a situation. OJC is an acronym with the same meaning and use.

Have you been following American politics? Orange Jesus Christ it’s out of control.

by Blackduck21 February 5, 2024

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024