Toenitheu Jesus( toe-nith-u-penis) is a alpha wolf man who has a alter ego, AKA Tony. He uses this alter ego to hide the fact that he is a hot sexy beast who gives toe jobs toe random squirrels on the sidewalk. although at first glance he may seem like a mega boner doner hottie who pulls all the elderly men, he does have a secret soft spot. His weakness is right between his big juicy ass cheeks. Tonypoo loves his “Daddychipmunk” who basically is this mega sextron squirrel who carries all around his acorns and nuts and such and sticks them in peoples butthole. Toenitheu is a big fan of this ritual. Tony chooses solely to wear spandex to everywhere he goes to put his 282728293837372992283737282737363 kilometer slong on display because he’s a little whore with a degrading kink. heard he wore fortnite spandex with his blazer at his baptism and the pastor got a boner. All in all Tony is a soft core hottie guy and all the other guys hate him and wanna be him cuz they’re jealous.
“yo did you see that video of Toenitheu Jesus that super hot sexy man sucking some squirrels nuts?”
“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
“yeah he’s such a sexy reckless baddie… i heard he even had to go to ER for rabies or something cuz his sexy ass went total beast mode.”
by penisloverxoxo26 November 22, 2021
Get the Toenitheu Jesusmug. Modern Jesus is a term used for someone who criticizes every thing someone does and thinks that everything they do is perfect.
by Pennella August 14, 2017
Get the Modern Jesusmug. 
Jesus, he is an amazing man that this earth has ever known. He was the person who created all of us and is My Lord and Savior. In the New Testament, it talks a lot about him and what he was doing. The things he was doing were healing lepers, healing blind people, and casting out demons! If you don't believe me, then look at Matthew 7-8 and you will see for yourselves. The books he's in are Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John aka. The gospels. There are people out in the world who say that Jesus isn't real and he made this earth to be cruel. The truth is though, he didn't. He made this earth to be beautiful, peaceful, and happy. And once he saw how great this earth was he made the first two people that was recorded in the Bible, Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve were told by Jesus not to eat from the tree of "Knowledge of Good and Evil" but the serpent (aka. The devil) tempted Eve and told her it was alright to eat from that tree. Of course Eve did eat from the tree and she told Adam the same, and together they sinned against Jesus. That is why the world became cruel. After they both did that the Devil took control of the earth and made it into a bad place. But once Jesus comes back, this earth will be no more and all who believed will go to Heaven and spend time with the great Lord Jesus, Amen.
"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” - Psalms 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” - Psalms 46:10
"Who is Jesus Christ?" Asked Delilah
"He is the Lord and Savior who made us all and whom loves us!" Said Nehemiah
"He is the Lord and Savior who made us all and whom loves us!" Said Nehemiah
by anonymous May 15, 2024
Get the Jesus Christmug. by Anonymous July 7, 2003
Get the semi-jesusmug. you basically grab your nearest metal head that has a beard and long hair and throw them in a rave (specifically at a cosplay convention) Give them a little spike-glowstick crown like Jesus and give something to drink like alcohol and BOOM you got your self a rave Jesus
Guy 1: GUYS LOOK, ITS THE RAVE JESUS!!
everyone: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rave Jesus: *passed out on the floor*
everyone: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rave Jesus: *passed out on the floor*
by goth_jesus April 8, 2024
Get the Rave Jesusmug. by 69bigboi6999999 June 19, 2018
Get the Ginger Jesusmug.