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alphabetical authorities

Da "top people" whom folks consult for advice/assistance on a variety of ordinary topics dat are randomly scattered about over da "ol' 26" in da English language.
Da seven most common types of alphabetical authorities are:
(1) hexpert --- someone who is super-familiar with voodoo and curses; hopefully he uses said vast witchcraft-knowledge to remove or alleviate said evil spells, not to put them on in da first place!
(2) mexpert --- an individual well-versed in all matters "south of da border".
(3) pexpert --- a plumber who is well-versed in da use of freeze-resistant plastic piping
(4) rexpert --- a learned bookworm on da subject of certain animals, either man's best friend or da huge hunched-over carnivores back in da Jurassic period.
(5) sexpert --- someone who can advise couples on achieving more satisfying intimacy.
(6) texpert --- a dude who knows all about da "black-tea"-rich southern-USA area dat is Ranger Walker's usual stompin' grounds.
(7) vexpert --- a human-nature guru with extensive experience on what pushes people's buttons; again --- as in da first example above --- presumably he uses said know-how to help **reduce** already-existing frustration/distress in others, not to purposely exhibit destructive behavior dat would cause people to **become** wound up when they had felt reasonably calm before! (Da infamous "gettin', getters, got"exchange between Madea and Dr. Phil comes to mind.)
by QuacksO February 7, 2020
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alphabet

what your saying right now
by 90e680380 March 31, 2022
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Alphabet

Letters are organised in a pacific order.
Friend: Say the alphabet quickly
Me: Okay, a b c d e f-
Friend: Alphabet

Me: You little shit
by LilWolfieWolf December 29, 2018
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Alphabet soup

When a person has so many abbreviated venereal diseases it easier to say they have alphabet soup (ie hpv tricc hiv aids ash)
I'd hate to catch the alphabet soup she's giving to all the guys without them knowing
by Captain saveahoe. August 30, 2023
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alphabet test

To try recite the alphabet while getting good sloppy top. If you make to z she's trash
This girl sucked my dick so good I could barely say my ABC's , I deadass failed the "alphabet test" that night
by Big Mikkee March 20, 2017
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alphabetical anecdotes

Assorted "A-to-Z" bu**s**t tales supposedly relating past events, such as:
banecdotes: When you got shown da door fer misbehavin'
branecdotes: What da Scarecrow's thinking-organ was composed of
canecdotes: How da clutter of empty food-containers came to exist
clanecdotes: Where yer group of weird-a** "loyal followers" came from
fanecdotes: Same as above, only said dedicated admirers are now also swishing themselves wif pleated-paper breeze-makers :P
Franecdotes: How Miss Fine shocked and/or amused Max's family during her period as a nanny and/or Max's wife
glanecdotes: What one or more luscious-lipped chicks have done wif dat juicy head on yer you-know-what
granecdotes: Assorted goings-on during visits to "Big Ma's house"
klanecdotes: "The Five Orange Pips" and similar stories
LANecdotes: Da occasional service-blackouts and other assorted crap dat you endure regarding yer internet service
manecdotes: Assorted "cool dude" happenings
manicdotes: Various "totally hyper" goings-on
Additional examples of alphabetical anecdotes include:

nanecdotes: Same as da actress-Drescher-related definition above
panecdotes: Da assorted tough-sailor-clunking shenanigans dat Laurel and Hardy performed outside da saloon in "Live Ghost"
panicdotes: Da assorted terrified emotions dat said comic duo suffered when said swarthy brutes discovered dat they had been shanghaied
planecdotes: Various "here's what we're gonna do today" tales
ranecdotes: What happened during either Boston Marathons or horse-races
scanecdotes: Yer antivirus-software adventures
spanecdotes: Various gap-bridging events
Stanecdotes: Laurel's adventure-tales dat he later tells to Hardy
swanecdotes: Related In Louie Da Trumpeter's book
tanecdotes: Adventures in da sun
tranecdotes: What ya read about in an LGBTQ newsletter
vanicdotes: Hippie-movement adventures while tootling around da country in an old VW bus
wanicdotes: "Back when I was a scrawny weakling" stories dat a hard-muscled health-guru relates to his audience
by QuacksO November 19, 2025
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alphabet cock

"woah hes got an alphabet cock
by sadlkghgiuas; November 29, 2021
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