john is the most amazing guy you will ever meet. he is kind and caring. he is tall and handsome and most likely plays football. he has light brown skin, beautiful, chocolatey brown eyes, and long redish brown hair. he gives the best piggy back rides, the best hugs, and the best kisses. he gives you his hoodies, and lets u sit on his lap. he may be shy at first but he warms up pretty quickly. if you have a john in your life keep him and marry him. you will not regret it. and if your bond with him broke, try to fix it because he will brighten up your life. (i know this from experience <3)
by xx0pearl0xx November 15, 2019

by IsayTheNwordWithoutPass November 5, 2019

Fucking stupid cunt who will eat your left over Little Cesar’s cheese pizza you were saving in the fridge
by Me, I’m him October 8, 2019

The literal definition of a walking dick. And also, probably a walking std. Don't date a John unless you want to get cheated on.
by rocky bob August 15, 2018

by Sam&Jamaals August 3, 2018

This abomination of a being can destroy the universe by using 0.1 percent of his power. He usually hides his fat in his disposable miniature pocket universes that he has in his magic pockets , but there have been incidents in other dimensions where the parallel John (which is not as powerful as the John in this universe) destroyed 1 billion other dimensions which teared a hole in the multiverse by accidentally letting out 10 percent of his power.
Below is rare footage of John using 0.000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of his power
Below is rare footage of John using 0.000000000000000000000000000000001 percent of his power
Eminem: something’s wrong, I can feel it
Eminem:if this is what I think it is, we’re in big trouble
John: LAUGHS IN JOHN
Eminem:if this is what I think it is, we’re in big trouble
John: LAUGHS IN JOHN
by Joguan 69420 November 14, 2019
