jesus H. christ

An alternative to Jesus Christ. The H is added due to numerous reasons. Some say it stood for Holy, some say it stood for Harold because of, "Our Father, who art in heaven, Harold be thy name". Other theories about the origin of the H. is:

1. H stood for Haploid since Jesus has no human father.

2. It recalls the H in the IHS logo emblazoned on much Christian paraphernalia. IHS dates from the earliest years of Christianity, being an abbreviation of "Jesus" in classical Greek characters. The Greek pronunciation is "Iesous," with the E sound being represented by the character eta, which looks like an H. When the symbol passed to Christian Romans, for whom an H was an H, the unaccountable character eventually became accepted as Jesus's middle initial.

3. H derives from the taunting Latin inscription INRH that was supposedly tacked on the cross by Roman soldiers: Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Hebrei (Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Hebrews). Trouble is, the inscription is usually given as INRI: Iesus Nazarenus, Rex Iudaeorum (J.C., King of the Jews).

Jesus H. Christ is an expression just as "Jesus Christ" Only with an H added in, most likely for humor.

"Jesus H. Christ! My plunger broke!"

by Ethan Lin July 12, 2005

Jesus H. Christ!

1. Used to show shock
2. What does the H. stand for?
3. Used by the drill instructor in the movie Full Metal Jacket

"Jesus H. Christ!...What the fuck Is That...Its a jelly doughnut!!!"

by NamelessRain November 8, 2007

jesus h. tap-dancing christ

an exclamation used by jake in the blues brothers, better than saying jesus fucking christ

Rev. Cleophus: "Do you seee the light?!"
Jake: "Yes!! Yes!! Jesus H. tap-dancing Christ...I have seen the light!!"

by alobymaxowitz December 1, 2006

jesus H. christ

Almost 50 years ago, I worked in an operating room. One of the doctors always swore Jesus H. Christ. When asked what the "H" stood for, he answered, "For Hallmark, for those who care to send the very best."

Jesus H. Christ, are you stupid or what?

by devi700 August 11, 2017

Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ

1. Possibly the most extreme, blasphomous term to use when one is surprised and/or outraged in the english language.
2. Used as a term to say something random but incomprehensible for a few seconds to the person the term is directed to.

Situation 1:

Somone busts into a room with an AK-47 and shoots the person right next to you.

Your response: Jesus fucking Mary doggystyle Christ!

Situation 2:

Johnny: Sooooo...
Mike: hmm....
Chris: yeah...
Dalton: JESUS FUCKING MARY DOGGYSYLE CHRIST!
Johnny: wtf happened?
Mike: oh my stars
Chris: lollerpops

by MrDinkleberry November 21, 2005

Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ is a mythological character stemming from Christian lore. The "H" in the middle of the names is believed to stand for a number of things, ranging from "Holy" to "Harold," However, recent evidence suggests that the "H" actually stands for "HeySeuss." This story book character's middle name was inserted recently in order to pay homage to the greatest children's story teller of all time: Dr. Seuss. While the movement started as something of a cult tradition, it quickly made its way into pop culture, even appearing on the silver screen from time to time as a profanity. This is of course wildly inappropriate to true followers as it is disrespectful to take the good Doctor'said name in vain. As a happy coincidence of this fan-fabricated name, the Hispanic pronunciation of the first name is also taught upon reading the middle name.

God: Do you mind if I name my child after you?
Dr. Seuss: It would be an honor.
God: He shall be called Jesus HeySuess Christ.
Dr. Seuss: Jesus H. Christ, a fine name for a main character.

by DefiningReality June 3, 2017

Jesus H. Christ

Shortened version of the full name Jesus Hitler Christ.

"I don't know man, Jesus Hitler Christ sounds weird."
"So just go with Jesus H. Christ?"
"Yeah"

by TrueLiesFromLife February 19, 2019