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Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance

"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"
While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.
by QuacksO May 14, 2019
mugGet the Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistancemug.

Cardiovascular Assistant I

Otherwise known as a TA, a comical and tardy individual who’s consistently only productive on Thursdays.
This damn CardioVascular Assistant I (TA)never gets any linen.
by Pavss June 8, 2018
mugGet the Cardiovascular Assistant Imug.

Assistant Simp

When you wingman a Simp yet you are not a simp yourself.
"Today I helped Elliot get this girl he was after."

"You mean that simp? So you're basically his Assistant Simp?"
by Sh0rtkakke March 25, 2020
mugGet the Assistant Simpmug.

peddle assisted cunts

Single/groups of cyclists on the road.
The PAC’s (Peddle assisted cunts) were taking up the whole road.
by i want to break free February 24, 2024
mugGet the peddle assisted cuntsmug.

power-assisted hug

An embrace dat ya get from someone who is too sleepy or exhausted to reasonably be expected to lift his arms on his own, and so ya amiably help him to perform said cuddly action --- what ya do is to gently lift da person's limp arms and drape them over yer shoulders, then slip yer own arms underneath his armpits and affectionately draw da person up against ya; all he has to do then is to simply wrap his arms da rest of da way around yer neck.
Creating a power-assisted hug from a weary chick is similar to when ya softly clasp and lift her suntan-lotion-oiled hand at da beach to give her a hello/goodbye handshake when she is half-asleep while soaking up da sun... in both cases, ya receive a little pleasant physical contact wif her, but at da same time ya considerately eliminate da need for her drowsy/achy muscles to expend much effort at all.
by QuacksO October 26, 2019
mugGet the power-assisted hugmug.

Little Goon Assistant

A word used to define of what is essentially a catalyst to a man's addiction to sexual intercourse or intimacy, being a girlfriend to a gooner and not helping their addiction.
Person 1: "Aw great, it's the gooner and their Little Goon Assistant."
Person 2: "...Gross."
by perroa March 22, 2024
mugGet the Little Goon Assistantmug.

Assist

He couldn’t cum, so I went in with my pinky for the assist.
by Taidum February 23, 2022
mugGet the Assistmug.

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