That surprises me

A phrase borrowed from the movie "Dinner for Schmucks". It is used in a sarcastic, mocking manner after asking someone a ridiculous question.

Dude: Have you ever lived among Alaskans and ate bear meat in their traditional manner?

Dudette: No!

Dude: That surprises me...

by joesk84ever December 26, 2011

surprise taxes

Traffic violations.
Surprise taxes are the worst kind of tax, as they have an official bribery structure where you can pay an attorney to pay the local district attorney. Also, if you don't use the official bribery structure your insurance increases, which is arguably better than dealing with the IRS with normal taxes.

I budget about $200 a year for surprise taxes. This morning I had to pay out some. Enforcement has gone up since the red light camera surprise tax revenue dried up after being ruled unconstitutional.

by skeletor_is_not_me June 27, 2014

A Walmart Surprise

When someone shoves a frozen sausage up your

ass while licking it at the same time in a Walmart bathroom

Hey Jimbo open wide I'm about to give a Walmart Surprise.

by Niggaz in my butthole May 15, 2020

Surprise Blunt

When you and your friends run out of weed, and one person out of nowhere pulls out a dub and a dutch so you can continue smoking.

You and your friends are all sitting around smoking out of your bong when you go to open your grinder to pack another one and all the weed is gone!! out of nowhere someone pulls out a dub and a dutch.....Surprise Blunt!!

by high miles August 30, 2012

A Cheetos surprise

Sprinkling your sex partner's ding dong with cheese dust and then licking it off at the point of climax

I just gave my boyfriend a cheetos surprise I have never heard him moan so loud before.

by viper1109 January 22, 2015

Sagan Surprise

Unexpectedly deficating on a sexual partner while wearing a turtleneck.

-Oh man, you know good carpet cleaner? Tiana got me good last night with that Sagan Surprise.
-Chipotles new chorizo has really been spicing up my Sagan Surprise.

by Itslunchbox February 19, 2017

Texas Surprise

(N) An accidental crossfire during a sexual encounter with a woman involving two or more men, generally referred to as a "gangbang." A man aims his penis in error at the moment of orgasm, offloading onto another of the male parties involved. The Texas Surprise is generally most potent when the cumshot winds up on the face of the receiving male.

"After pulling out to finish, John was so enveloped in the heat of his orgasm that he didn't realize he'd given Tim a Texas Surprise!"

"Dude; that guy just gave Ron Jeremy a Texas Surprise! He'll never get work in this town again!"

by Auralius June 5, 2013