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legal hypochondriac

n. An individual stricken with extreme litigiousness, usually due to a vicious combination of nosiness, paranoia, persecution complex, having too much time, and an innate and perhaps genetic inability to take responsibility for him or herself.
Much like a person for whom every sniffle is merely the first sign of impending death by swine flu, the legal hypochondriac believes that every one of life's minor inconveniences is not only someone else's fault, but someone else's legal liability. This necessitates calling at least three lawyers, writing letters, gathering boxes of evidence, filing multiple law suits, and then lodging complaints with the Law Society about the lawyers who refused to take the case on a contingency fee.

The legal hypochondriac can often be found on the black lists of every law firm within several hundred kilometres of his or her home.
by impartisan September 12, 2012
mugGet the legal hypochondriacmug.

Dirt Legalize

When you register an off-road vehicle so it can be ridden on the street, such as a dirt bike, atv, utv, or military vehicle. You can't always just walk into your local DMV to get it registered, so you have to use a special process, often called getting Dirt Legalized.
Hey John, how did you not get pulled over for riding your dirt bike on the street?

I simply Dirt Legalized it!
by James54956 February 8, 2021
mugGet the Dirt Legalizemug.

Legal Pedophile

A person in his/her late 20's or older dating someone aged 16-18 years old.
- "Dave started seeing a 16 year old girl... what a sick fuck"
- "Well, that's over the age of consent, so I guess it's fine..."
- "Still sick, he's a legal pedophile... But still better than an 18-year old girl dating a fucking 100-year old"
by DruggedBabyPenguin November 26, 2020
mugGet the Legal Pedophilemug.

Legal Simp

A person who has documents from a court of law that allow them to pursue fit men and women. A non-legal Simp is looked down upon by society.
“Dude, Leslie is so hot.”
“Didn’t she get a restraining order on you?”
“Yeah, but I’m a Legal Simp, so its overridden.”
by Lifel1k3 April 11, 2022
mugGet the Legal Simpmug.

dirt legal

permission granted to put your dick into someone's dirt box
Susie loves getting it up the ass...told me my cock is dirt legal and I can fuck her in the ass any time.
by M. Goldberglocks June 12, 2025
mugGet the dirt legalmug.

legal career

The process of working in the legal field, whereby a creative mind is whittled down to create a sophisticated but mindless rule follower that is paid to worry about other people's boring problems that no one would otherwise try to fix if it wasn't for the large amounts of cash that temporarily covers the meaninglessness of the once creative mind's new life.
"Did you hear that Bill graduated law school and is going into a legal career?"

"Yea, that poor guy will be a rich divorced alcoholic misanthrope in 10 years."
by jon_newhart April 30, 2014
mugGet the legal careermug.

legal seafood

by EM&EM 33 February 18, 2018
mugGet the legal seafoodmug.

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