The exact weight that Talladega Nights acter Will Ferrell perfers his Jesus to be when saying grace.
"Dear 6 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus..."
"I like to think of Jesus as wearing a tuxedo tee shirt. That way it says im serious but I like to party"
others may like him as a carpenter, reborn, crucified, in all his glory etc etc.
"I like to think of Jesus as wearing a tuxedo tee shirt. That way it says im serious but I like to party"
others may like him as a carpenter, reborn, crucified, in all his glory etc etc.
by Igotitallwrong September 18, 2007
Paul: "Woah did you see Jake's touchdown that won that game?"
Sam: "Yeah, this is like that time Jesus threw a football in Nam"
Sam: "Yeah, this is like that time Jesus threw a football in Nam"
by Emo Cheesecake March 28, 2023
by jesus.net April 20, 2018
The standard bu**s**t reply that a professed religious-freak half-heartedly tries to appease you with whenever you ask a "tough" theology-related question that he does not actually have a "ready" or "satisfactory" answer for, such as, "Well, if God truly loves Mankind, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?", or, "Yeah, right --- well, tell me this, then --- if your 'perfect God' is so kind and compassionate and merciful, why did He allow my {some beloved relative/friend who became deceased way too early in life} to die?!"
I get sooooo sick ‘n’ tired of hearing that stupid-a** wooden-smile-expressioned response of "Well, that's something best left up to Jesus Christ," whenever I indignantly fire back a perfectly logical question at a local Bible-blabber who is trying to "bring me into the true fold” --- hey, I'm not interested in waiting for "Jesus Christ" to answer my question "all in His good time"!! I want an actual straight solid definite answer --- and one that truly makes logical sense to me --- RIGHT AWAY, not in FIFTY BLEEPIN' YEARS or however long I'm sposta hafta wait to "receive divine enlightenment”! How da HECK can a supposedly-enlightened "born-aginner" except me to wanna listen to his b**l-crap preachings or accept his beliefs if he himself can't even come up with a proper answer to a simple query that a non-believer would logically ask him? Zheee-yeeesh --- he isn’t even following the “old Scout motto” of “be prepared”!!
by QuacksO November 12, 2018
A statement similar to Jesus-Fucking-Christ that is often used in a situation of utter disbelief, shock or frustration. It is arguably blasphemy as well. Can be announced slowly and clearly to express disgust and hopelessness, or loud and fast to alert someone of an imminent disaster that will most likely end in catastrophe.
Also might be a sign of Tourette syndrome.
Also might be a sign of Tourette syndrome.
by RebelJosh89 December 17, 2020
An exclamation that can be used after having encountered a bad situation. Can be used in conjunction with; Jesus Christ, Christ, Jesus Tap dancing Christ, and "awww hell".
Dude A: Hey have you seen that video with two chicks and a cup?
Dude B: Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass! That was fucked!
Dude B: Jesus Christ on a cripple after Sunday mass! That was fucked!
by JPF December 04, 2007
A cult-like religion referenced as the main sect of Mormonism. Known for their rules and regulations and underlying homophobic and transphobic behavior.
by JustTellingTheTruthHere June 13, 2019