The Origami Machine

The origami machine is a machine that twists and or jelqs your penis into a variety of different origami shapes.

"Hey Paul, check out what I did with the Origami Machine!"
"Hey let me try out the Origami Machine too!!"

by origamiman February 18, 2024

jiga-jiga machine

a common colloquialism for an impact wrench. An onomatopoeia, derived from the sound that pneumatically powered impact wrenches make when a sufficient rotational resistance is met, triggering the whirring and clicking (jiga-jiga) sound of the internal hammering mechanism.

In order to take the wheels off of my car, I got out my trustworthy jiga-jiga machine.

by draco_mask March 8, 2024

Chocolate Claw Machine

The Chocolate Claw Machine is when after a long day and your feet are sweaty, and they smell like absolute shit, so you take a shit and get your stinky toes and grab your poop like a claw machine, then you take your stinky sweaty shit mangled foot and take a big old whiff.

Man that guy smells horrible
Did you hear? He Gave himself the nastiest Chocolate Claw Machine last night
...dont flush your toilet tommorrow

by anonymous May 18, 2024

Sisyphus' Time Machine

The act of going back in time to change an event but failing to change anything, so you go back in time again to try to change the event but fail again, causing you to go back in time again to try again, looping indefinitely.

Person 1: If you could go back in time to when you were five with all your current knowledge would you?
Person 2: Yeah, I could invest in Bitcoin early! I wouldn't have to work a day in my life!
Person 1: What if your parents didn't believe you? Then you would have to go back in time again.
Person 2: Ohh, you're right. Even if I did go back in time it wouldn't change what happens.
Person 1: It's Sisyphus' Time Machine.

by Rimzi May 27, 2024

Long-Duration Motion Machines

Long-Duration Motion Machines are hypothetical devices designed to operate for extremely long periods without external energy input, while still respecting known conservation laws and thermodynamics. Unlike perpetual motion machines, they do not claim infinite operation or energy creation. Instead, they rely on ultra-slow energy dissipation, delayed equilibration, environmental energy harvesting, or probabilistic and extraphysical mechanisms. The key distinction is that long-duration machines eventually stop, while perpetual motion machines violate physical laws by claiming endless motion or energy output. These machines are often discussed in theoretical engineering, speculative physics, and borderline scientific proposals.

Long-Duration Motion Machines — Example

A hypothetical machine uses ultra-low-friction components, cosmic background radiation harvesting, and delayed thermal equilibration to keep moving for millions of years. It never produces excess energy and slowly loses motion over astronomical timescales. Unlike a perpetual motion machine, it obeys thermodynamics but exploits environmental and probabilistic factors to extend operation far beyond conventional machines.

by AbzuInExile January 24, 2026

Deus sex machina

Phenomena where the most unbreedable character in fiction gets laid for the purpose of plot or bad writing

(insert the most annoying character in fiction) is getting laid can you believe it?

fucking Deus sex machina

by evil molester February 11, 2026

Long-Duration Motion Machines

The natural and artificial systems that move things across geological timescales—glaciers that carve valleys over millennia, tectonic plates that rearrange continents over eons, and human institutions that change so slowly they might as well be geological. Long-duration motion machines include the slowly shifting course of rivers, the gradual uplift of mountains, and the federal government, which moves with approximately the same speed and predictability as a continent, just with more paperwork.

Example: "She studied glaciers as long-duration motion machines, watching them inch forward year after year, carving landscapes with patience that humans cannot fathom. When her grant was delayed by government bureaucracy—another long-duration motion machine—she found the irony unbearable. The glacier, she noted, was faster."

by Abzugal February 14, 2026