spooky cactus

A half-demon creature, created when the soul of an ancient cactus-demon from the days of plant-worship inhabits the body of a human in the here-and-now. There is only one confirmed spooky cactus in existence, believed to be hidden in the north of England. From the careful analysis of this one isolated case, we have discovered that spooky cacti are blunt, cynical, sarcastic and taunt humankind for kicks.

'The spooky cactus had awoken, and was glaring with an uncertain cactical fury at the toaster, which she could not quite decided whether or not to make the victim of flaming spiny cactuslike wrath.'

by Celestia Cloud April 21, 2005

Swedish Cactus

When you grab the base of your scrotum making your testicles "pop" out of the top of your fist.

After Josh showed me his Swedish Cactus I fell madly in love with him.

by bookoute March 27, 2009

Horny Cactus

Someone who has intercourse with various people but can’t commit to a relationship for longer than a month.

You’re a horny cactus!

by Clapping Machine February 04, 2018

Stiff Cactus

A very slow person

Josh says he gets his weed in the mail. He is such a Stiff Cactus

by Efy17xx February 17, 2011

The Angry Cactus

Forcing sexual intercourse on a porcupine.

"Dan got wrecked trying to pull the angry cactus, it looks like his dick was attacked by a sewing machine."

by Alternative Holes February 23, 2020

Cactus with a laptop

That’s me! A charming adventurer, full of artistic talent. Very capable. Always ready to explore and experience new things.

Friends of mine:

Cactus with a book

Cactus with a soccer ball
Cactus with a pencil

Cactus with a pencil: Hey, cactus with a laptop, come sit with us!

by A Cactus with A laptop April 21, 2023

Singing Cactus

It's a toy that repeats after you, like Talking Tom, but a real-life cactus that also dances.

Person 1: Where did you buy that singing cactus?
Person 2: The store, of course!
Singing Cactus: The store, of course!

by Flanfair August 27, 2023