Someone who plays Golf and hits the range repeatedly because they recently have become obsessed with Golf and all they can think about is Golf.
Friend 1: I just got us a tee time for tomorrow, we are going to hit the range the next day, and then try to play another round on Sunday. You in?
Friend 2: Golf Merchant... but yes I'm in.
Friend 2: Golf Merchant... but yes I'm in.
by Golf Merchant July 14, 2024
Get the Golf Merchantmug. Negative term for a character (usually fictional) in which the only compelling part of their storyline is its conclusion. Popularized by the great minds hard at work in mediatok.
Guy 1 (awesome, full of life and vigor): Lelouche has W themes and philosophies but he's lowkey a conclusion merchant.
Guy 2 (moron narcissist, possibly evil too): Trying to categorize everything you enjoy like this is reductive and stupid.
Guy 2 (moron narcissist, possibly evil too): Trying to categorize everything you enjoy like this is reductive and stupid.
by bippitybopman23 August 13, 2025
Get the Conclusion merchantmug. A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.
This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.
by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025
Get the if-else merchantmug. Someone who plays the fifa video game nearly every day and uses the Griddy emote after every goal scored. They do this so that the opponent rage quits or breaks a controller.
Man these fucking Griddy merchants! They must get zero pussy. I can just smell the stench through the mic.
by Dj Ivis Lover June 16, 2023
Get the Griddy Merchantmug. The art of posting sub luminally anti-Semitic memes on alt-right image forums for comedic effect. Merchant in this instance referring to people of Jewish descent. Often in threads that can go on quite extensively. The images typically try to obscure the profile of a large nose characteristic of the exaggerated caricature of a typical Jewish stereotype.
Oh man did you see that new post?
I did! Man these jokers just can't stop merchant-posting to save their lives!
I did! Man these jokers just can't stop merchant-posting to save their lives!
by The__speaker_of__truth June 11, 2022
Get the Merchant-postingmug. A person who has no real skills in what they claim, but holds a certificate as "proof" of their expertise.
The programmer we hired is a total certificate merchant: he has an AWS Associates certificate but he has never touched AWS in his life. He's currently studying for Google one too.
by burgundyyyy October 15, 2022
Get the certificate merchantmug. A mileage merchant is a runner who is highly focused on having more mileage than those around them. They will often let others know about their superior mileage.
John always runs a few extra minutes to make sure he has more mileage than everyone else. Why does he have to be such a mileage merchant?
by JackSimmons5 July 31, 2024
Get the Mileage Merchantmug.